blogging

Moments like this from Master Yoda

Not until recently have I realized how much of myself I’ve..let go/given up to become a good parent and a good wife. I’ve known people who have believed that motherhood was their destiny and their whole life was preparing them for this. I look at my preparation and I was probably on the track to being Ms. America and/or the President of the United States. Can you guys imagine me doing the stiff sideways wave down the runway with a tiara on my head or better yet, shaking hands/kissing babies/doing the stiff sideways wave from the limo surrounded by secret service? Who would be my hairstylist? Do you think they have someone to do two strand twists in the White House?

I used to be able to see my great grand ballroom destiny. Now, I see greatness, but in different ways. I see opportunities to support and love my husband as a business partner/life partner/friend and to impart something valuable to my children. Most of the chances to impart to them are planned, structured and sometimes opportunities just fall in my lap. Like the one I’m sharing with you all today.

I’m pretty sure that God has a sense of humor. For someone as non touchy feely as me to have 5 loving children who like to sit on my lap, hold my hand while we walk or lay on my shoulder when they’re sad, is a really funny situation. But you know there’s always a catch. There are 7 people that live in my house and last time I counted there were 12 dominant personalities operating on a regular basis. Yep. Some folks in my house are 2 (or 3) different people and since we’ve been on extended vacation, void of any real routine, the personalities have lost their compusure and now personality clashes are spouting every half of a second.

” Mom, can I have some soda?” “No, because you haven’t drank any water today.” (Answer didn’t come from Mommy) “I wasn’t talking to you and how do you know what I drank today.” “Because I’ve been watching you plus you are complaining about your skin being dry so you shouldn’t have any soda.” “Get out of my face before I smack you.” “You won’ t touch my sister.” (Another child, not part of the conversation, jumps in. I still haven’t said a word). “You stay out of this.” In the midst of the confrontation between these three, my mild-mannered child comes in and says, “Hey, mommy, can I please have some soda?” (They all stop, look at him and start yelling all over again.)

What is going on here? I’m losing valuable ground as everything that we’ve discussed about how to speak to each other, how to treat each other, how to stay out of my conversations with the siblings has gone out of the door. What’s a harried homemaker/teacher/trying to be blogger to do? Hmm…I have a lot of options, most of which are probably not considered acceptable by Dr. Phil, Supernanny or the Department of Social Services. So I got to get a little scholarly for a minute. Now, your children need help communicating with one another/you know communication is critical to their success, what do you do? I asked my children this question and you guys are on the same page, “Teach us [how to communicate better]!” You got it. I feel like Master Yoda when he’s teaching the new jedis (you know the scene where they are lined up using the light sabers). So, my children earned themselves a summer seminar.

Thought I’d share with you some of what they are doing: The 2 primary texts for this course are: a old classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carenegie and Winning with People by John C. Maxwell. They have to conduct interviews with their family members about how important are communication skills in work, in life. Each family member has to share with them 1 example of how good or bad communication skills came into play in their lives. I went to a website on character education to get lessons for the younger kids. Click the links on the left for 1-page lessons (yes, my 6 year old is in the summer communication seminar! Go ‘head…call the abuse hotline…he still gets to ride his bike and play with his friends after the lesson…see I’m not all bad. LOL). Our first lesson consisted of vocabulary words (communication, criticism, trustworthy, kindness, humble/humility, selfishness, insult) and Bible verses (like 1 Peter 3:8 on kindness). Our children are learning from us all of the time whether we are “teaching” or not. I’m learning myself too. I value learning something new or refreshing my mind with new info on an old topic. When I did corporate training, people were 4 times older than my children saying stuff like “Wow, this was really help to me.” Why wait? Find a few minues every day to develop you. And if you think you don’t have the time, try reading one of these books at bedtime to the toddler in a soft tone–you’ll both enjoy the story! 

What is one thing you wish you would have learned early in life about yourself, about others, about love, about…whatever? When will you share this with your children or do you plan to let them learn as they live?

© 2006 DahGurl.