Oh, after I last night, I’m going to stay on my love topic a little. About 3 years ago, I vowed to stop making those socially acceptable, small talk lies anymore. You know the ones. We all do it. Scenario: You see someone from high school/college/old church/former job who you haven’t seen in years. “How are you? How’ve things been going?” and you two are chatting away. As you realize that time is passing by, one of you start, ” We have to get together sometime, let me get all of your information.” or “Let’s keep in touch. Let me put your info in my cell/my palm or do you have a card?” Now, maybe 1 out of 15 times, I really wanted their information. Maybe I honestly wanted to get in touch with them, but if I really did, with the help of the Internet and a few tight social networks, I could have found them. You could have too if you really wanted.

Now, in those situations, I say “It was great talking to you. Take care.” and I walk away. I know it sounds harsh, but as I shared with you before, not every one who is down for you is really down for you. Don’t add people into your world unless you truly plan to nurture and grow the relationship. Hopefully you will come across people who you haven’t seen in a long time who are willing to follow through on their commitment to the relationship and you guys can reconnect at a new level. That’s what happened to me last night.

I admit that I’ve fallen short on my vow from time to time. I’ve seen someone, gotten their card, promised to get with them and lost the card/didn’t make the connection a priority. But that’s rare. I ran into an old friend from college at Meijer’s last year. She invited my husband to speak to her high school class. Since we’ve been in town, my husband had talked to her and she wanted me to call her. We talked for over an hour, said we’d get together and we did. Kids and all and we had a blast. After the movie, we came back to my parents’ house and shared brokenness, restoration, love, God, confusion and possibilities. I’m so glad that I can add her to my list of people to hook up with, share with and grow with. Thanks for keeping up with me after I saw you at Meijer’s last year. What a surprising and refreshing treat!

There is nothing like sisterly love. I know we get the reputation of being catty or being petty, but I’ve found this to be rare for me. I find that when you are true to you, people who want that in their lives will be down with you and people who don’t “run like the wind, Bullseye.” (A little Toy Story 2 moment, sry). I can’t speak for men, but the level of empathy and compassion that we should offer one another as women should transcend all of the crazy societal divisions that are imposed on us. Like single vs. married, single mothers vs. married mothers, stay at home moms vs. working moms… these conflicts are crazy, but real. Don’t fall for it.

In any relationship, you can’t give what you don’t have, so prepared to give. Give some time, some listening, some encouragement, some of whatever makes you you. More importantly, be prepared to receive. I receive so much from my blogging gurlfriends–Amy, Yolanda, Jennifer, Joan, and Jasai. You guys check in regularly/send some love and laughs my way and I appreciate you all being among the 10 non-family members who read my blog. To my not yet blogging buddies, Ce’, Tif, Chanda, LaTonya…yall know all of my business and I thank you for loving and listening to me anyway. Appreciate it all and know that your secrets are safe with me (even if I have to use some of your stories for emphasis. smile). To my success team, thanks as always for lifting me up when I’m down and keeping me on the path of productivity and effectiveness.

And to my gurlfriend from last night, again, thank you. And to those of you who don’t have a sistah gurlfriend who you can kick back with, go make it happen. It’s worth it and when you’re feeling a little low, you’ll turn around and say, “Sorry fellas. I need my gurls. Where my gurls at?”

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