balance

Quality and Quantity

Long before I get a chance to sit down at the computer, I formulate what I’m going to share on my blog. I think that’s where this sporadic thing started. I THOUGHT too long, too much. Blogging was so freeing and so exciting when I first started because every day was different and challenging in a variety of ways. I felt like being maternal, then I felt like being funny. Then, sometimes I felt like ragging on somebody. I woke up every morning at 5 a.m. and came to Dahgurl just to say Hello, I’m here, you’re not alone. I know I created that for the faithful few readers, but I got more on my plate and I haven’t been the same ever since.

For those of you just tuning in, you gotta go back to the beginning, kinda. My family came to a crossroads and after supporting my husband in his career choices, he wanted me to do something that I do naturally (talk/write/teach) on a larger scale. I was so open, but I realize now that I’m not a BMW (I’m asuming they can go from 0 to 60 in a minute or so, right?). I really thought that once I got into the flow of writing daily, that was it. But then came the book proposal and my editor saying to me, “I like your life coach voice. I like your not-so-pitiful, place of authority voice.” Ok, he didn’t say not-so-pitiful, but that’s what I heard. Funny how we do that.

Anyway, the book proposal was daunting because I’m not just a writer, I’m an editor and I’m a critical, obsessive editor (I think it’s an unwritten job requirement), so instead of releasing my energy to write, I stopped writing/slowed down writing to edit my stuff before I got it to the editor. As always, I submit my work unto God because I want to be in order, in time, in season…oh, we gotta talk about seasons and God was directing me in a slightly different place. He wanted me generating income for my household as a sign of support for not just my husband, but as a sign of faith for what is to come, so I started to expand my life coaching practice. I have over 10 individual clients and I have a group that I’m coaching all on a WEEKLY basis. Are you following me?

I went from just household managing (which is a full time job, even if I weren’t homeschooling because my husband travels, we’re rebuilding ourselves financially so we have a plan for that/doctors appointments/laundry/meal planning/physical household needs…you know the deal) AND homeschooling 3 kids while baby sitting 2 (I think that’s two full time job, but we’ll say one for now and this job requires prep time/planning for field trips and I’m the president of the homeschool group…ok, this is starting to sound like 2 full time jobs) to doing all of this plus writing, plus speaking, plus coaching…UGGH. I didn’t know what to do and how to do it, but I was frontin’ like I could do it. When you put it out there like this, I know now why people think I’m using some kind of illicit drug. My head and hands hurt just sharing this, BUT God’s grace is sufficient and I’m just starting to understand why I need His grace and mercy EVERY second of every minute of every day.

You all have your challenges as moms, as wives, as women and you think you got a lot going on and you don’t want to do it, you want to quit/bail/retire. Me too. What I was trying to do is do this, all of this, all of these blessings that are coming my way, all of these responsibilities that only lead to a legacy that I’ve always desired and I’m trying to do it all in my own strength. It’s not going to happen. I have to rely on a peace, a strength, a comfort that I hadn’t needed. See I’ve sought God’s loving kindness when I was just a mom and a wife.  As your life increases, your faith has to increase and I wasn’t exercising it at the same speed of the blessings, but I’m building it up. I’m going for quality products in all that I do and meeting the quantity demands.

I hope you all think about what’s on your plate and the stress that you’re experiencing and know that you’re not alone unless you choose to be. You don’t have to take sleeping pills because you’re so wound up at the end of the day. Take 10 minutes, just 10 minutes to be. To be thankful, to be silent, to be loving of yourself and those around you. Know that grace and mercy abounds and you can get it no matter what you’ve gotten yourself into in this season. Thanks for sticking with me. My turnaround season is now. I’m bringing it on.

© 2007 DahGurl.