reflection
The price of city living
Since my hiatus from the blog world earlier this year, I have some questions as to what works for blogging and what doesn’t or more importantly, what hasn’t worked yet. I hear that there are 8 million blogs out there (WHOA!) and everyone is talking about the world, their experiences, their research…from their perspective. It’s cool from a “see the real world” journalism perspective, but sometimes it’s a little weird.
Weird because everyone is searching the blogworld using keywords/categories such as parenting blog, business blog, technology blog, etc. when any one person could have legitimate information about any of these categories (if they find themselves comfortably knowledgeable or respectfully curious). So how do you increase readership, increase traffic when you’re not really sure what you are or in my case, don’t want to be boxed in? HO-HUM (that’s my sigh). Questions that may never have satisfactory answers.
How am I dealing with this?
Well, I’m going to keep my voice (funny, thought-provoking, open/naked, and hopefully yet jarring) and I’m going to write about what I want. Cool? I hope so.
Went to the grocery store early one morning after dropping DH off at work. It was about 7 a.m. As I pulled up to the store, there was a couple arguing in the parking lot, using the usual profanity. I parked my car as the male walked toward the store even though he had two to three full grocery store bags. I grab my cart and as I walk in the store, this same gentleman (used loosely for effect) was filling his grocery bags with a whole lot of new groceries. Our eyes connected and I just shook my head. As he rushed out of the store, those two to three bags looked more like 6 to 7 bags. The few employees of the store at that hour missed the whole thing.
Was I wrong to not have said anything to store officials? Was I wrong to have looked at him with judgement and disgust, well disappointment? It happened so fast…I want to hear from you all.
See, I had a lot of thoughts going on-most of them related to the mild depression that I feel more often than I care to admit as I walk, so full of life, among lost/displaced people whom represent our society’s walking dead/living yet dismissed. They are everywhere in the city and unfortunately in urban areas, they tend to be people of color. For a split second, I felt bad for the man who saw fit to steal food and then I felt bad because I have to pay for his need. I never thought I would care more about myself than I would the collective disenfranchised. I feel obligated, responsible for the lack of opportunities available to people and the hopelessness that’s running rampant in cities like Baltimore and Detroit. I want to do something about it, build institutions, fight for people and then the reality kicks in. I’m not apathetic and I do work in certain areas/for certain causes, but it’s not enough so I have to retreat to perserve the energy. Move out? Run away? Turn my head?
DH studies race and politics. We’ll always be a part of cities. The sadness/depression/frustration
/disgust/disappointment/fear…
well that’s a small price to pay for city living, right?
What would you do? How do you deal? Do you live in a city? How is it effecting you emotionally, spiritually, professionally?
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2 comments for “The price of city living”
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I walk with that same feeling more often than I care to admit. I can’t say I’d have called him out myself, especially with all of the truely dangerous people out there nowadays. I will say that I’ve just said a prayer for him and his family in hopes that he will change his ways to those of helping others instead of harming.
I really can’t say what I would have done. I have been in that situation, and I have not always said anything.
I live in the city. I like living in the city, but there are many down sides. I believe it makes me a little jaded on some levels.