parenting

Will the punk parents please stand? Part 1

Now, for those of you who have been checking out Dahgurl for awhile, you know that I try to keep my tirades under wraps, but thanks to an experience I had at church last night, I can no longer remain silent. For background sake, I was asked to teach a class on entrepreneurship to my daughter’s purity in life training class. I was so excited that my girlfriend has to pull me back from going to Staples, getting folders/badges/color-coded and tabbed 50 page curriculum. You know the overachieving perfectionist is bound to rear her ugly head when I get into teaching mode, especially teaching entrepreneurship. WHOA, NELLY!

I pulled myself back/realized that they are not enrolled in an executive MBA program/created some fun games like Name that Slogan and Truth or Fiction and packed for a class that was valued at $199/person easily. My daughter warned me that I was doing too much and betted that I was going to end up frustrated/disappointed/angry. I completely dismissed her comments, priding myself at being an engaging/interactive teacher, understanding of teenage issues and went into class with my expectations HIGH, real HIGH.

Well…well…well.

I don’t know how to tell you how I felt, but let me say that my daughter was rapidly compensated for her assessment. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was outdone and I don’t know what in the world…

Let’s start with an email that I sent to a youth minister at my church (whom I love) bright and early this morning.

Prior to the start of the class, Imani warned me that how I flow is not going to be received well by some of the kids and that I should not prepare all that I had prepared. I didn’t listen. Overall, it [the class] was good and I was glad to have done it, but I do have some concerns. From people talking and playing with their cell phones (which I should have taken, but was trying to get a feel for what they were used to) to people not even listening to others or involving others in their group, I don’t know how these children can expect to be successful in the larger world. They are not ready. Pastor raises the bar to the parents and we, as teachers, have to raise it even higher for the young people so that they don’t become stats.

I felt like I was in a hidden camera show because these children are not stereotypical. Many of them were educated in private schools, with two parents actively in the home, dressed sharp to the bone and they had no drive, no initiative, no respect. Out of a class of 30, I may have hired, ah, 5 or 6 of them (if you take my daughter out and my girlfriend’s daughter…maybe 3 or 4) and that would have been a stretch. More than 50% of the kids came to class with no pen or paper. Only 2 children were present at the start of the class (I gave 10 minutes grace and even that was hard for me). Several of the children were unable to enunciate and articulate their comments or the answers to my questions (If you talk without moving the sound from your throat, do you need a speech pathologist or a smack upside your head?) And to top it all off, one of the most disruptive girls in the class acted a fool while her mother was physically present in the class. No, this is not a typo. Her mother was putting together some packets and working in the back of the room, but she was not far away. I looked at her mother like she had two heads and after the little girl huffed and puffed (I checked her a little bit when she busted out laughing when we were about to pray), her mom gave her some money to go and get some McDonald’s across the street and told her that she could “treat herself.” WHAT?!

So, after I got in my car, frustrated/angry/disappointed, I thought they are children and I don’t by that “these are kids are nowadays” crap. I was chatty in school, but I knew when to shut up and show respect. Who dropped the ball? Why is this kind of foolishness acceptable?

UGGH! I started to have a similar train of thought as my mother-in-law…it’s the PARENTS. So I asked myself: Where in the hell are the hard core parents? The real parents? The parents who would have snatched that little girl, who was rolling her eyes and talking while I was talking, out of her seat and made her apologize to Ms. Shawn? Where is the parent who takes the cell phone from these spoiled children (not me being insulting…she’s the one who said “I’m spoiled. I don’t have to work. I just ask my parents for whatever I want and I get it.”) and tells them that a cell phone is not necessary for class? Ok, in all fairness, the parents weren’t in the room, but this is the dialogue I had with the youth minister and her response is simply: We’ve tried to get the parents involved, but they treat what we do as a drop-off service.

A drop-off service? Do you even know who you’re entrusting your kids to? Don’t you care enough to at least show up/introduce yourself/sit in on a class? My LAWD! Parents are setting the bar too doggone low. Parents have to stop punking out and acting like children are so doggone fragile and vulnerable. Why aren’t parents taking these classes seriously? I am not getting paid to do this even though I could have. I mean, I can’t be mad at the child when they come to a class 55 minutes late…it’s not their fault. The parents are telling them that they don’t take it seriously, that it’s not important. Or do parents go to their jobs 55 minutes late?

My reaction? The solution?

Well, first, I failed because I was too shocked to treat them like my norm and I’m also aware of the fact that we don’t have the village mentality. BUT, I am going back in to the trenches. I am requesting that the next class that I teach will be with the parents. I’m taking the gloves off. I’m bringing Mrs. Jones and Ma Turner back (I will fill you all in on who they are in part 2). Stay tuned for how I’m setting the village a flames.

What would you do if you witnessed foolishness in the class? Do you feel parents are responsible? Would you be offended if I shared with you as the parent about your rude child? Do you have the village mentality…do you care about other children like they are yours?

© 2007 DahGurl.