Well, you all heard it here first. After 3 years of homeschooling my 3 and sometimes 4 children, my husband and I have agreed to send them back to public school this month. We are not moving to a better school district, but we are going to work together in approving our neighborhood school as he has agreed to volunteer once a week for the entire school year and I am going to be active in the PTA. The baby will be going to day care at a neighbors and our oldest daughter will be doing self-directed learning and attending classes at the local community college, so she’ll still be homeschooled for 8th grade. The question of the hour is how do you feel about that gurl? Are you okay with that gurl?

I wish people would stop asking me that. I am not really feeling my feelings given that all of these decisions have happened in less than 3 weeks and I am thankfully that the children have been sheltered from this roller coaster that I’m on. The practical aspects of who I am believe in public education, know the importance of parental involvement and believe that my children will be fine. The…I don’t know her name…the overachiever in me feels like I’m regressing and that my children will be bored and that I’m going to hate myself for the decision. The paranoid, overprotective mom feels like they’re not going to adjust well socially (my kids are so friggin friendly, remember?) and that they are going to be inherently changed. The…forget it…that’s why I’m not feeling my feelings. There are just too many and I need to pause and figure out how to sort through them.

We’re sending our daughter to Michigan for a week because her grandparents miss her and because my house (which was being ripped apart because we were moving) needs to be put back together again and I have to ask myself some tough questions like what do I need to make this transition smooth and successful? How willing am I to give up control over every aspect of my children’s lives? What parts of me can I preserve (I feel like a sinking ship) when the time crunch and the press (you know…traffic, rude co-workers, the conversations at the coffee pot) increases exponentially? Who will I be?

Not to say that I can’t still talk about parenting. I will have plenty parenting to talk about now that Niara (a.k.a. Pie) is going to Kindergarten and BBB is going to be in day care, but right now, I just feel like writing about transition, change, coping with difficult situations. I’ll be fine…I know, but the process to putting this new life together,well I definitely could use some help, so to all of the homeschoolers/stay-at-home moms who made the transition back to work outside of the home, what was your biggest challenge? What would you do differently? How well did your family adapt? Please share ’cause your gurl needs some help.

Love and appreciate you guys.