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Mom returns after Carmen Sandiego type travel experience

Ok, I wasn’t all around the world, but it sure felt like it. Being without the kids for 6 weeks to many is a blessing and clearly, I am not ungrateful. But trying to get them back on track, back in our household routine is more than a notion. I’ve been struggling so much with all of the decisions that have sorta fallen upon me that I can’t even account for the question that my church members, my gurlfriends, my family and even my neighbors are asking–Where in the World is Dahgurl?

I don’t even know the answer to that question. I mean I could be practical and say something like Under the unusual level of clutter that comes from preparing to move and declutter then changing your mind and trying to minimize the clutter in its previously stashed places. I could go deep and say Lost between Infuriated, Frustrated, Depressed, Hopeful, Cynical and just freaking Tired as Hell. I could go…well say rude and snippy (like I want to tell my mother) and say None of your Friggin Business and If I want you to know what’s going on in my life, I’ll call you…Don’t call me! But none of these responses can fully explain why I’ve avoided blogging, hosting my show, participating in outside of the home activities for say three weeks. I guess the best thing to say is…I’m still here and like Grandma would say, Keep on Living because it’s got to get better than this.

On that note, I’d just like to say that my children, 3 of my children, will be returning to the ill-reputed Baltimore City Public Schools on Monday, the 27th. Two of them have never been traditionally schooled and are pretty excited. My oldest son is not looking forward to it at all. My oldest daughter will remain homeschooled for 8th grade and then she will be sent to THE high school that my husband is so sold on-City College High. The BBB is going to day care and I will be returning to some semblance of employment while we focus the next 12 months of debt reduction and new home down payment.

Everyone is telling me how well they will do in school, how ahead of the others they will be, but the truth is…that doesn’t mean crap to me. School has become more than just a place to learn. It’s where we’re socialized. It’s where we get the outlook on the world. And I’m not trusting this process at all, but I’m working on it. I mean, I’m REALLY working on it. I don’t talk to people about it because the perception is…I’m tripping. Well, maybe I am, but I’m fighting a good fight. I worked damn hard on the character and the confidence of my children and trust me, even our families, find ways to undermind what we’ve done. You should hear some of the remarks the kids told me that came out of people’s mouths. People who love them, care for them, but want to control everything because of their own insecurities and inadequacies. I’m raising diplomats, missionaries, evangelists, caring souls. I know their gene pool being smart is…well, pretty damn easy. Being a world changer, being a critical thinker, being an activist/a fighter…that’s hard as hell in this apathetic, individualistic, materialistic…oh, let me stop here. Man, if I had a pen, I’d write a book…wait, I do have a pen and a book, but I’m not supposed to air dirty laundry, spread my radical views to the masses.

Anyway, I’m on a trip…several different trips…head trips, spiritual trips, ego trips, spaced out moments. The ultimate world traveler in this season of my life.

I’m wondering if I can get a hat like Carmen. I think I can rock that tilt over to the side look…not sure if red is my color, but I can try to rock that too.

Will talk to you all about the preparation from home to traditional school. Much love.

© 2007 DahGurl.