Uncategorized

Season change not related to weather causes Mom to redress, regroup

Good Morning! Yes, I am quickly regaining my morning back and I am too excited because…well, it makes sense. I’ve questioned myself, my abilities, my choices, my self-worth alot over the past few months and I gotta tell you some of what I’ve learned:

1. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. Ooo, this should be numbers 1 through 3. I am soooo not perfect, but there were a lot of things in my life, in my routine that worked like getting up at 5 AM to write. It worked for over a year, but I got distracted and started changing what was working. Something else that worked was my morning devotionals and prayer times with my children. See, I haven’t adjusted well to the school schedule, but from today on, I’m back to keeping the main thing the main thing. Children need to be…ooops, I think that’s number 4. Next…

2. You can’t do it, this, anything without a continuous, fired-up, ever growing, ever-expanding hook-up with God.I should have known when my fellowship time was compromised, when I couldn’t find my Bible most of the time and when I did it looked, uh, brand new…signs of trouble my friends. I spent over 4 years outside of constant fellowship and when I joined my current church, I asked God to stretch me, push me, grow me into who You called, but change is hard and not everyone, actually in most cases, no one but God is going to know where He’s taking you.

3. Live your life with no regrets and don’t look backward. Man, this one could make me sick to my stomach. I have wasted…ok, not the best word, but let’s go with it for a second…I have wasted the past three months or so mad about what I did, questioning what I should have done, doubting who and what I am, abusing myself for my mistakes, devaluing my value and just this week, I realized/I was reminded that I couldn’t be where I am if I hadn’t done what I’ve done and that if I had a chance to do it all over again…I would do the same thing! Ooo, I could go here for the whole post, but I said I wasn’t going to overwhelm you all. You’ll be getting a lot more over the weeks to come.

4. Children are a blessing…raising children, raising righteous/whole/well-rounded/healthy/sane children is WORK. I’ve been back slapped/pistol whopped with this idea that because a check doesn’t come to me with my name on it that somehow I don’t work. These thoughts have been dangerous to my present and my future, but to use a line from my boy Simba (Lion King I, great movie, may need to revisit it), “Danger…HA. I laugh in the face of danger.” I’m laughing when I think about how many times I counsel friends/family/strangers (like the woman in the grocery store or the woman at Joanns) about parenting…WHY? Why? Because you judge a tree by its fruit and I gotta tell you…my fruit, my children…they are evidence of the WORK. Ohh, I can…I’ll leave the shouting, the crying, the revelations for the weeks to come.

5. The enemy FIRST attacks your identity. Oh, my goodness. I’ve considered myself a fighter most of my life. I was double promoted early in life and people teased me for being smart, for being the teacher’s pet…in the early years. Then, my uncle taught me how to fight (for the non-violent parents…skip to the next paragraph), so when Kelli E. (I still remember her name) bullied me in Mrs. E. Jones’ class that next time, I took her out. My best friends, Kim and Sonya, were shocked, but no one ever teased me or tried to assume that I was weak because I was smart ever again…well, not until recently. I’m more spirit than man…we all are and I let my spirit get bullied. I got tired. I got weak. I let the attack, which had been systematic over years, finally win a battle. I stop believing that I was a fighter, a winner, a conqueror and I threw in the white towel. Don’t let anything, any situation, any circumstances win in your life. Situations and circumstances are sure to change in an instant. Hold on to something that NEVER changes- His Word, His Promise.

Oh, the weather went from 90 degrees to 60 degrees this past week and I had to pull out my retail skills as we moved the summer clothes that fit to the trunk, threw the not for next year summer clothes in the Goodwill bag and started to put the warm clothes in the closet. I knew I was in trouble when I had brought 4 basket full of clothes from the trunk up to my room and in those 4 piles, I had 3 shirts (only 1 fit) and not a single pair of warm weather pants (I’m not counting the sweatpants that are an extra large in 4 or 5 different colors that I wore throughout many of the pregnancies…they were immediately sent to the Goodwill bag with a chuckle and a cheer!). I had to make a quick shift to get the kids’ prepared, but the bigger shift was in redressing my mind and regrouping my schedule, my plans.

Tomorrow, I will give you all updates on each of the kids…I think they each deserve a day because the transitions are huge. They are all fine and I thank you all for caring. It means a lot to me.   

© 2007 DahGurl.