advice

Mothers discuss discipline, communication over dinner

Well, I gotta tell you that I was not planning to do anything special for Mother’s Day, but a good friend of ours from college invited us to D.C. to have dinner and to just hang out. After a hectic day in the nursery at church (it’s once a month and I tell you…I couldn’t do more…it is not easy dealing with your children when you’re working…BBB, bighead, bigcheeked baby, for you new readers…he was off the hook), I took a nap, but the kids were so excited to go to our friend’s house. It warms my heart that we’ve extended their sphere of safe people and safe places. You all know that I just don’t let my kids hang out anywhere, especially at “family” gatherings, but this was different.
I got up late/we rushed to DC/food was good/fellowship was great and then…we got to talking. You know how we do after the grub, we have to sit and chat a bit.
I try to avoid touchy topics in mixed company. I’m pretty passionate about my issues-education, child rearing, family, politics. I just try to listen, but they kept drawing me in.
“Your daughter is so mature and well spoken. That is so awesome.”
“Thank you!” (Oh, the proud mama moments come just when you need them)
“I just don’t know how you do it with 5 kids. I take my hat off to you.”
“Thanks. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it. I’m pretty hard on ‘em.” (Now why did I say that? I…I think I’m opening up a can)
See, I realized recently that not everyone is hard on their children. Actually, in my opinion, parents are a little soft, like pillow soft, like…punk soft. When did parents have to ask their children permission for stuff? When did children start sharing their feelings about what they don’t want to do? Ok, ok, I’m not going to tell you where the conversation led or who said what. Other than me making comments like,
“Walking out of my house looking like a trick on the street is not happening…no matter how much their exploring their femininty.”
“Who cares what other people are doing? I’m setting the friggin standards in this piece, I was chosen to carry them for 10 months, not society.”
“I don’t let my kids hang out with too many people at our house because my basic rule is if you’re hanging with mine, I’m treating yours like I do mine. If you don’t want them disciplined like I do it, keep your kids at home and we’ll meet at the park.”
Yeah, it sounds harsh to some, old-fashioned to others and you know what, I don’t care. You judge a tree by its fruit and ounce for ounce, I got good fruit.
So, to all of the mothers, young and old, who care enough about their children to show them the craziness of this world from a distance and to give them safe places to grow and flourish without getting sucked into the craziness, to the moms that are NOT being punked by their kids…Happy Mothers Day!

© 2008 DahGurl.