See as many of you, I am the Go To Gal, the Make It Happen chick…I make it do it what it do, baby! And when I’ve done what I can do in my strength, my faith has always seen me through, but this time, this shattering of my confidence, came quickly and fierce. And it came from every side, but the tricky part is it’s come mostly from the inside. That’s where the stronghold lies. I put in greatness, possibilities, but I didn’t dejunk, reprogram, so when I needed solutions, answers I pulled out some junk, some deep junk. And only through intervention, professional intervention, have I had to sort out what I was taught and what I believe.

I won’t bore you with my results-oriented, conditionally loving upbringing. I’ve tried to steer away from the discussion on parents trying to live vicariously through their children, but I will turn this into a couple of parenting notes and make it more about how I parent, than about how I was parented (love my parents/don’t want to open the can/mother hasn’t made this choice easy though).

As a parent, you make choices and you want your children to learn from your mistakes, but how you convey your mistakes is so important to the overall emotional health of your children. For example, if you got involved with the “wrong” man (I put wrong in quotes for reasons I’ll explain later), then you don’t have to punish every young man who looks like him and is dating your daughter. Don’t make prejudicial statements like “Oh, he’s from that side of town. You know he knows good.” “He’s an only boy. Oh, he will never leave his mother for you.” See we, as women, are prone to wear our mistakes, our issues on our sleeves like badges. Stop it! Raise your child to think for themselves and let them think through their choices.

And

Be there for them without judgment. Man, I pray that I will NEVER tell my children…”I told you so.” “I knew I was right all along.” No matter how right you were, petty vindication or any form of public vindication just ain’t sexy, it’s not welcoming. I heard my Pastor say that people who criticize you, do it because they don’t understand you. Wow! I’m pretty un-understandable. I am not even a “kid” person per se, but I will go to bat for my children. I’ve nurtured, some may say smothered my children and to think that in just a few short weeks, their lives are going to be like something that even us as parents have never seen…2 working parent household.

WHOA!

I haven’t been doing a lot of praying as much as I have been just reflecting. Give yourself credit for what you’ve done in your life no matter how small or insignificant you think it is. We are our worse enemy. The one thing I’ve learned in this process is that I forgive others easily (for the most part  :lol: ), but I don’t forgive myself. I beat up on myself so tough, my girl Ce’ says It’s worse than those 6o’s Batman episode: BAM! SLAP! URRGGH! You guys know what I’m talking about. Please forgive yourself. You can turn it around, whatever you’re facing just by saying I wish my mistakes didn’t hurt so bad/cost me so much, but I am grateful for another day to make things better, to turn it around and the challenges only strengthen my testimony.

We were asked to encourage one another in His word (1 Thes. 3:2, 4:18) and you all came through for me. I got a call from my old friend Stephanie in Ann Arbor and she’s been listening to my show (I LOVE my show, but I have considered quitting because…I’m not going to be Dahgurl like yall know her and I don’t want to…it’s silly but this is the kinda stuff that plays in my head all of the time) and she talked about how this is my season and how she can just hear the shift to being more like the me before children/household management/homeschooling. Talked to Candace at church and she was telling me how she listens on her iPod every week while she’s at the gym. Oh and Marnita stopped me at the church picnic telling me how she’s so proud of me and loves hearing me do my thing. And then you guys…Yolanda, Michele, others of you…I just say Thank You for doing what we’re all called to do, so lastly, if you feel like you’re at the end of a short rope, encourage someone else, give them a kind word, a song, a scripture, a referral to a good massage therapist.

It can get lonely, confusing, daunting…even for the Can Do sistahs. I’ve had to learn to breathe through the panic and to write down the anxiety triggers. I know that once the major deals are closed, specifically the relocation to a better school district and the full-time employment at an above-entry level position is going to help tremendously. Life happens. Don’t let it knock you off your feet, but if it does, dust yourself off and hope you got a nice pedicure when everyone’s trying to figure out how to stand you back up and help you out (i.e. take care of you).

Us Mamas have to stay on top of our personal emotional, mental and physical health and appearance.  Thanks…I’m getting back on track/keep you posted…appreciate all of the love.

Sometimes as parents we can pinpoint a situation, an issue that may cause our children to change their outlook on life. For my oldest daughter, she had a couple of bully incidents which made her strengthen her confidence and learn to “be quiet and watch” and not assume that everyone is going to be friendly to you. My oldest son is just overall cautious, insightful and not easily influenced and I don’t expect him to change much. But with Kiserian? I just don’t know what happen. It’s like a full moon or his under arm odor (he doesn’t like baths or showers because they take too long and he doesn’t do a good job (since I often have to send him back because he left soap somewhere), so why bother?) has caused his personality to shift. He speaks up about what he doesn’t want, what he doesn’t like; he talks back to me and questions the decisions that I make; he is defiant and doesn’t want to listen to his siblings for help, for guidance, for anything. I just don’t know what to do other than yell, punish him, tell him that this is out of character and I want him to really think about his actions. He’s crying all of the time, throwing tantrums like he’s 3 year olds. Somebody, anybody, help a mama out, please!

Of course, I consulted DH, wondering if I should get him some counseling or something (hey, I am so pro-therapy for any and all…matter of fact, we need to include therapy in our universal health care plan) and DH, as always, thinks I’m overreacting. “He’s just getting older. He’s growing up, finding his way. Leave him alone and let him grow. ” So, what I heard was, “You got the problem, not him. Stop trying to hold on to his current characteristics. He’s only 7. We still don’t know who he really is. Let him find out and we just love him through it.” WHAT? I can’t take change…household dynamics are already in flux with a sorta grumpy teenager (she’s changing, you know), a bossy/tricky 4 year old girl (she’ll be 5 on Friday…I’ll tell you about her celebration then), a 9 year old who is reading everything he can get his hands on , but needs to develop some personal interaction skills and use his big brother status for good and not evil…did I mention a toddler who is throwing everything that’s not stuck to the ground?

I need stability. Lil Man was my stability. I could always count on him to bring in the love, bring in the peace. I’m praying that this phase doesn’t last long and that I can go back to something that I know…but chances of that are happening…next to impossible.

Are you experiencing some growing pains in your house? Have aliens invaded the bodies of your sweet, innocent ones and turned them into…children? How did you handle it? Did you go off the deep end like me or are hiding in a corner scared to face it? Share your story because sistah needs some help.

Now, if you want some book suggestions, practical steps and tools for debt recovery, it’s in here, but please don’t ignore this little tidbit that I gathered/researched. I heard something while preparing this new book that I am writing on your credit score and how it shouldn’t determine your character, your employability or your self-worth. I decided to do an informal credit score survey and track emotional stability and credit incline/decline. And guess what? A quote that I heard somewhere applies, “Debt is related to lack or broken-ness, low self-worth or ignorance of self and its relationship to the world. ” Sounds crazy/deep/spooky/unrelated? Think about it.

• Young family, decided that a parent (usually a mom) stays at home. Family/friends associates that with some form of affluence and in order to keep that up, mom goes shopping, travels for weekend getaways–all the while not realizing that there should have been some adjustments in lifestyle since there were some adjustments in income.
• Because of the challenges in our economy, we live with very little savings (if any) and unprepared for the reality that we may be without work or underemployed, the LACK of knowledge on investing or the LACK of trust in stocks or even banks (yes, my grandmother preferred Bible Banking…”My money is safe and protected by the Almighty. No crooks gone get it there.” Can I get an Amen?).
• Divorce is a leading cause of financial challenges for women and credit cards tend to be the only available resource for the family to maintain some sense of normalcy (brokenness at work here)
• Recent graduates, not making enough money to pay off the student loan debt/too proud to go back home and make arrangements with their parents (parents don’t want them anyway), disappointed at where they’ve ended up/frustrated and impatient with the situation…low self-worth/self-doubt (why did I get that stupid degree? take that job? move into this apartment?) and emotional instability.
• Check your heart. Are you harboring some feeling from your childhood that you weren’t loved, so you go overboard with material things to prove that you are special, well taken care of? Are you mad at your parents for being poor, so you live LARGE because you don’t want to feel LACK again? Were your siblings treated better than you and you are buying your way to acceptance or to prove a point?

The first step to financial breakthrough is forgiveness. I harbored resentment and rebellion in my house because I couldn’t accept the traditional view (really the ignorant view) of a stay at home mother. I knew it was the right thing, the best thing, but I felt less-than my calling, my self-worth was miniscule and since I had never felt that way before, I made some dumb mistakes. And we’re paying because of them.

Another reality we must face is that we may be the only people around us who want to change their minds about money, debt and wealth. I don’t have room to discuss the countless times that I’ve heard: “Debt is just a part of life. It’s not that big of a deal.” I beg to differ, so for that reason, I’m going on a crusade and I would like to hear from all of you. From today until the Lord tells me to get off of this subject, I will be covering books, news, articles regarding women, family and finances, specifically debt recovery and legacy building.

Now, if you have your money together, you know where it’s going, you have your will, your legacy plan all written and distributed to the VIPs in your life. We love you and want to hear from you. Where did you start? Did you ever get off track? How did you rebound/recover?

But, if you really need to get it together, check in here at dahgurl every Friday (well every day would be nice. ) for info that you can use immediately.

Ready to get on the road to recovery? Great! First stop? The library. Check out the list of the following books that I will be reviewing next week here on Financial Friday. Now, if you just have to buy them, like I do, please consider buying them right here at Dahgurl. Just click on the book title in the sidebar and you will be headed over to Amazon.

Here are websites of my favorite authors as well as some great financial advice for FREE:

• Glinda Bridgforth, author of “Girl, Get Your Credit Straight” and others
• Dave Ramsey, author of”Total Money Makeover,” and you can read about his Financial Peace University course here.
• Suze Orman, author of “Women and Money”
• Jean Chatzky, author of “No More Excuses”
• Janet Bodnar, “Money Smart Kids” columnist, Kiplinger’s

Now, I chose these authors for many reasons, but there are many others. Subscribe to Black Enterprise, Money and Kiplinger’s. Black Enterprise does a real family (not the hypothetical–husband/wife/1.8 kids deal) financial makeover in every issue. If you don’t feel like you have the time to read, might I suggest getting up an hour earlier, staying up an hour later or recording your favorite show and just watch it all on the weekends? We all have just 24 hours, remember? Make the best of yours!

Yup! You guessed it…DEBT!

My father is the master financial counselor and we have talked for years about writing a book on him and some of his friends, who are living well at 78 and older. And not because they had professional jobs, advanced degrees, and lots of resources, but because they know how to monitor, save, and grow their money. My father attributes his financial savvy to growing up during post-Depression in Alabama.

“We didn’t have welfare, credit cards. If you didn’t have it (the money) right then, you had to wait. People need to learn to plan and to wait.”- my dad.

And his life is reflective of planning and discipline as he has purchased all of his homes and cars in cash (never knew what kind of leverage, negotiating power cash gives you. I want to try that one day very soon.) and he paid for college for all three of his children, so why are 2 of his 3 children (me included) are in debt?

Student Loans for graduate school. (Can we make this a four letter word on GP? Because this is BAAADDD.)

I wanted to move up in a company, loved the work, made a good salary and my oldest was well taken care of my her maternal grandparents (remember, DH was in grad school). I started the program out of fear/frustration/resentment (not good reasons to get 50k in debt…just a little FYI), but I did enjoy the program and a master’s degree has convinced other people that I know what I’m talking about (it also gave me an opportunity to teach on a college level and I am looking into doing that again). So, what’s the problem? The interest rates were ridiculous. I didn’t take the time to shop around (emotional buying, folks) and I can’t wait to pay this thing off. In the meantime, this debt, along with some credit card debt (car vandalism multiple times/inventory carrying business went south) is keeping us, our family in total hostage.

What do you do? Get creative, get resourceful and get to work!

Get Creative!

Writing is fun for me, natural. I believe that I am gifted to speak, teach and write. I am always looking at what I am doing and how I can do it better, more efficiently, more effectively. I stress creative for parents who are already working full-time jobs because instead of leaving home for a second job, what can you do in home or with the family?

• Tutoring for the summer
• running errands/personal conceirge for elderly family/friends/neighbors
• online sales (I hear ebay professionals make money)
• computer repair or computer training (there are still a lot of people who don’t know how to search the web or how to create a family reunion newsletter)
• event planning (graduation parties/weddings/sweet 16s)

If you want more information on homebased business. check out anything and everything by Paul and Sarah Edwards.

Get resourceful!

Over at Secure Loan Consolidation, you can get information on mortgage refinancing, tax debt help and debt consolidation In one place, you can find articles, information about mortgage forbearance (didn’t know that existed), avoiding bankruptcy (if you are considering personal bankruptcy, check out the Facts for Consumers published by the FTC) and credit card help. Also, you can scroll to the bottom of the page and search for resources by state. Here is a list of Maryland’s resources. Sign up for the newsletter in the left sidebar, so that you can start putting financial freedom in motion.

All of us are being inundated with information regarding financial programs, but you need a way to

Get to work!

The debt won’t go anywhere, even with wishful thinking. You have to be proactive. It took us some time to get stable enough to even think about implementing a plan. Regardless of how much I have a ton of resources to share with you on Family and Finances on Friday, so make sure you come back tomorrow.

In an effort to balance my decision to stick to parenting stuff (mainly ), I have designated just a few days where I can talk about other areas of my life that might be of interest to you. So, on Wednesdays, I will be bringing you the WFHM/WAHM wisdom. Oh, the acronyms? WFHM (work from home mom, which I use for people who actually run their business from home. This would apply to people who are full-time, part-time or even hobby time in business) and then WAHM (work at home mom, which I use as people who work another organization, say a magazine or pharmaceutical company and they have an in-home office, commuter and flex time employees would work here). I adhere to these classifications myself even though there are many similarities. The question I get from most people at my workshop is How do you do it all? My response: What do you, Trump, Oprah and Tiger have in common? People start to think and after about 5 minutes, I say, “You all start out every day with 24 hours in it. The differences between you is how the hours are spent.”

Hmmm….is the response I normally get.

Every business, every organization, the world runs on time, timing, seasons. I’ve fought in many organizations about how inefficient and ineffective people were because they did not know how to maximize their time. I have offended many people because I was the manager who started meetings according to the time on the clock even when people were outside of the room talking, getting coffee, wrapping up their phone calls (which tended to be personal in nature anyway…another post, another post) and I NEVER saw fit to wait for people or encourage them to be in their seat. This is not elementary school, people, and if you need a bell to tell you to be in your seat, set the alarm to go off on your watch. OUCH! If looks could kill, I would be writing this from the Master’s office.

Time is a precious commodity. Don’t waste it on the phone, checking your emails, sitting in meetings that have no real purpose or better yet, no clear purpose. Is this what you’re doing in your home office? Then check out a few tips I have for you, so that you can make the most of your time and a couple of fun bonuses since it is summertime and the kids want to be a part of what you’re doing.

1. Set a schedule, PLEASE and stick to it. I’ve tried the free flowing method of writing when the mood hits you or starting my day at different times every day and it just didn’t work. Well, it wasn’t the best way to be productive. Yes, emergencies come up, but not every day. How do you set a schedule?

Know your peak times and down times and definitely know those times for your family. Are you a morning person? A night owl? Do your kids sit still for a movie or are they better at the park? You have to make sure that you position yourself to be productive when you have the MOST energy.

For example, I’m a morning person, like 5 am morning and I don’t try to do anything that requires a creative brain cell after say…4 p.m. By 10 pm, I’m ready to crawl in the bed. The kids?
My children normally hit the floor, hungry, at 8:30 am. so I try to get as much writing/editing/creating done between 5 & 8. Ask yourself these questions:

• When am I fresh, most creative?
• When am I normally at peace, focused, not distracted?
• Do I pay attention to how I spend my time?
• When are the kids most active, most engaged? Can I take my lunch break with them after I’ve created, been productive, met my daily goal?
• When can I sneak away and the kids not notice? (In my house, that would be anytime the Teletubbies come on)

Keep a journal of your day for at least a week and hone in on when you are most at the top of your game. Build your schedule around your findings. Because email and voicemail don’t require a lot of thinking (just scamming, filtering, quick responding), I TRY (I’m not quite there yet) not to check my email or my voice mails during my morning flow time.2. Once you’ve set a schedule, have the schedule posted in several places in the house. I talk to my children about mommy work hours and the older ones have to keep the little ones in check, but they don’t even come near my office unless it’s a real emergency.

3. Have a sign on the door for special situations like: Ok to come in or On the phone. These signs (which should ahve symbols for the little kids) are so much fun. I asked the kids to help me design them. My youngest daughter wants to put glitter on the “Mommy’s working” sign. Hey, whatever works.

4. Make meal time easy for EVERY one by making it simple or making it in advance. Crackers, turkey slices, carrot sticks and apple slices is what I prepare for the toddler. Every one else in my house can make their own lunch. I have just recently decided to put a cafeteria type menu on the cabinets and on the refrigerator since my younger son said, “Mommy, what are my options? I’m bored with turkey and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.”

5. Build in some fun. Every time I submit an article, I beef up the movies for family movie night, so we usually do 2 movies, but if they were respectful of my space, took care of their chores without prompting, then hey, 3 to 4 movies is alright with me.

I have been working for home and at home over 10 years as a freelance writer, computer trainer, independent sales director, corporate contractor and life coach. I hope this information helps you in your scheduling challenges with the children. Useful, helpful, stupid idea? I want to hear from you. Also, you can read more of my work from home advice over at Blue Suit Mom. Click the Ask an Expert and previously asked questions are answered there.

I love to praise the Lord and I have a good time in His presence. One of the issues that challenges must people is the hypocrisy that exists in the church. Well, hypocrisy is everywhere (i.e. I’m pro-life, but not the countless lives of the people in a country on the other side of the world that has not launched an attack on this country at all, but I’ll save that for tomorrow’s episode of Chocolate Chats). Anyway, I have found that people are surprised that I have peace, joy and fun as an active, engaged, fired up Christian. I’m so transparent, real that it throws people off. For example, a woman from church asked me about Dahgurl (What is it? What do you do?) and she asked me about Chocolate Chats. Now, we’ve had interaction before, but when I took the time to explain what it’s all about, what I’m all about (well, I couldn’t fit what I’m all about in a 10 minute conversation, but you get what I’m saying), she was excited and supportive. What I gathered from this interaction is:

1. I assume too much. Technology is always changing and I already admitted that I didn’t know much about blogging and DH has been blogging for years.
2. People want what I have-balance, peace, positive energy, incredible/mountain-moving faith (oooh…we’ll have to go into that some other time), but are afraid to ask because of the perceptions, prejudices.
3. If you want people to know something, be a part of something, you gotta make it simple, make it plain and make it real and relevant.
4. People are always watching you. I tell the kids that people matter, perceptions matter and every interaction, every contact is a ministry moment. Don’t miss your moment! (That’s actually a phrase I use ALL of the time in my speeches.)

The production team over at Chocolate Chats is feverishly developing new ideas, new ways to bring podcasting to the people. We are working with several other hosts over at TalkShoe (if you’re thinking about hosting a podcast, email me dahgurl at dahgurl dot com, so that I can tell you more about TalkShoe and yes, I get a small referral fee) to do some cross promotion and to get more reach with our joint efforts.

Hey, like our new badge? Thanks Ce for helping me tweak it.

They suggested that I do a summary of the past few episodes and let you know how you can support the show. Anyway, here are some of the highlights from the past:

• Episode 1: Our inaugural episode: We were talking about motherhood from a different perspective–adoptive mothers. Lori Chambers, author & playwright, shared her experience of adopting a son after two natural births and two unsuccessful pregnancies. We discussed foster parenting, international adoption and universal parenting ideas.
• Episode 2: Kicked off our relationship series with a discussion on women and how we relate to one another. How did the idea of us being catty and unable to work together come about? Our listeners share some of their experiences and I always leave folks with some food for thought.
• Episode 3: This episode got a little heavy when we started to talk about sex, intimacy in relationships. Is marriage a thing of the past? Is it true that men want a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets?
• Episode 4: How do you handle betrayal of a friend? What is your most
• Episode 5: Fine, Fit and Fabulous: the Dos and Donts of Summer Fashion with our special guest, The Fashionista. Definitely a MUST LISTEN if you want to know how to look good in whatever you wear.

And of course, this week’s episode, Headlines and Hot Topics, is not to be missed as we have my favorite talking partner, Dr. Lester Spence (yes, he is my DH), an assistant professor of Political Science at the Johns Hopkins University. From Barack to Paris, from war to health care, we are bringing it all THIS Tuesday, tomorrow, June 19th at 9:00 p.m. EST. You don’t want to miss it. Need some help logging in or for detailed instructions, click here.

Lastly, let me give you guys some resources just in case you get the podcasting bug:

• CNET Videos on Breaking Into Podcasting (there are 3 parts. Here’s the link to the first one)
• CNET Video in Talk show format on starting a podcast
• Free Podcasting 101 online class from (you guessed it) CNET
• Great podcast tools podcast by Paul Colligan
  
• Tons of great articles on (yup) Podcasting at podcasting-tools.com

Lastly, I want to encourage you to try it, try something new that’s inexpensive, tons of fun and definitely a refreshing, personal addition to this static (sorta static) life of blogging.

Well, add these lyrics from the 80′s R & B group, Whodini.

Friends, how many of us have them? Friends? The one’s you can depend on. Let’s be friends.

I used to have an associate who would tell her kids “that if one you all go, you all go. If one of you isn’t invited, then we all stay home.” Basically, she believed that her children didn’t need friends outside of their large, close-knit family. Well, at least, that’s how she acted. I have Mommy and Child Days where I spend an entire day with each of them individually and they plan out all of the activities and they decide if they want to take a friend or not. I’ve invited this person’s daughter who is the same age as my daughter and her response is so politely, “Where one goes they all go because that’s how they build relationships with one another as a family.”

I was tired of my daughter being hurt every time that mom said no. I just stopped calling her. Am I tripping if I believe that every child deserves their own friends, their own items (within reason) and some personal privacy? My children are only 2 years apart with the exception of the older 2 which are 3 years apart, but I am clear about who’s friend belongs to whom. My oldest son goes to hang out with his friend who has a brother the same age as my younger son. My younger son wants me to invite him along so that he can hang out with his friend. Not a bad plan, but it’s not up to me. If it was a more than one child thing, my gurlfriend would have asked the 7 year old to come too. Otherwise, I don’t just bring my kids to someone else’s party without that being cleared in the beginning.

I’m accused of being too strict, but I am 12 months and 1 week older than my younger sibling and her friends were NOT my friends. I also have been getting a lot of “I don’t have any friends, Mommy” from my 4, almost 5 year old daughter. She’s been acting out/doing the baby thing (whining, tantrums and such). I am familiar with Mocha Moms and several other organizations, but I am tired and I don’t want to start anything and not be able to participate. She has a couple of girls that she hangs out with, but their moms have been busy too. I have a ton of great friends and I know that I am blessed with them, but was I worried/concerned about friends at 4 or 5?

How do you handle the “friend” situation among siblings? Am I being lazy or unfair because I don’t think they need a lot of “friends” anyway, especially since our family size is big? How did your parents handle it? Did the gender of the sibling change how the situation was handled? Looking forward to your comments.

Summer, summer, summer time.

Ooo, summer time. Got to sit back and unwind.

Yeah, Will Smith has a classic right there, but I am still trying to get to the sit back and unwind part.

Usually, this week, we’d be on the road for our 5 to 7 week pilgrimage back home. This year is different. As you all know or can imagine, it is difficult being an adult in the same place where you were once a child. Detroit is home for us, but it’s not home. We don’t live there anymore and we don’t see ourselves going back. Our families are there and so we sacrifice many weeks there so that the kids can bond with their extended family. Fortunately, there is high level of involvement from both sides of our families and I always feel tugged and pulled. Sometimes intentionally, most of the times, unintentionally.

If I feel like this just imagine what my perceptive, insightful children notice/discern between their relatives? So, we are hanging in Baltimore for the summer and although I am excited, I’m a little stumped. I’ve always sorta kicked back and gotten some R & R while our families love on the kids. Now, I have to adjust.

But look at what my husband and I piled on our plates because we were thinking out of habit and all of these things need to be done by the end of the summer:

• 2 1/2 books at about 50-60% each (we both are writing and I am looking for a multi-book deal while he wants to have at 50% of his book written before he submits it to a reviewer)
• Internet talk show, which I am looking to grow to a 25 live participants, 50 live listeners and 150 downloads by the end of the month (you guys can read tomorrow’s post and see how you can help with that)
• Rites of passage program for my daughter (you’ve been asking, so I am going to post about it this week. Scouts honor.)
• Business ministry work at church (I am developing a curriculum based on my first book teaching people how to start a business and build capacity. Start small, think and act big…another article, another article)
• Did I mention I want to enjoy the kids over the summer? UGGH! I hate that this part comes last, but I needed to vent a little.

As you know, the summer drains the brain. I’m sorry the proper term is summer learning loss does occur and I struggle as a homeschooler/WAHM/overachieving perfectionist on when to shut it down, when to lighten up, when to get over myself . What do I do to balance out the fact that I really have a full-time job schedule now that school is “out” and I have the kids here without a real summer plan?

1. I have a sitter come to the house ALL DAY on Monday (from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.). Since my laptop is slow/needs RAM (ooh, how much we rely on speed from our technology, along with efficiency/convenience/design…YUCK!), I lock myself in the office on the G5 and I crank it out. I have two assistants, one of whom is a super-cool Virtual Assistant over at InTouch and I still feel like I’m not getting in the time I need, so I
2. Call my housekeeper and get her back on an every two week schedule. I don’t know how other women do it, but I am so thankful that I have choices and I choose writing, reading, praying, sharing to cleaning, ironing, laundry-ing any day of the week. Love cooking and so do the kids, but the shopping for the food. (Gotta look to see when PeaPod is going to be available in my neighborhood). Now, the kids have regular chores and I am going to get better about putting systems in place (oooh, I am going to save the chore and allowance system review for another time), but it seems like it’s never enough. I love fresh flowers on the dining room table, color coded household management files complete with an index and labeled clear boxes for all of our school crafts and other small items. But I will settle for stuff off of the floor, clutter in a box that’s stashed in the closet and strategic placed plug-ins to cover up the diaper smell. My, my, my…my standards are nonexistent, huh. For the kids,
3. I have a ton of great websites that I go to full of word searches, arts and crafts, mini-projects that they can do away from me. My faves are:

• Education World (strictly for the teacher/parent, tons of fun activities/variety of topics)
• Enchanted Learning (some of this is free/the bulk is for subscriber but it was worth the $20)
• Discovery School (great for all grades, focus on science/math)
• Emints (separated by grade level, then theme. this site as a teacher resource is comprehensive, updated links)
• FunBrain (focus is on grades K-8)
• CNN Student News (love this site. great table talk with the teens who don’t like to talk

Of course, the part of me needing to get over myself is true, so we had some fun this week.