1. We bought a house in the worst housing market in history because after one semester of being in Baltimore Public Schools, I realized that my children’s education, my sanity and my soul deserved better, deserved some rest. We moved to the suburbs (I know, thought we’d never do it…will save that for another post) and three of the kids-Grown Man, YPW and Pie are doing well despite YPW’s challenge with focus and attention (ahhh, check out tomorrow’s post on that). Big Girl is still at home, but preparing for traditional high school. Between magnet school applications, interviews, auditions, it makes you wonder-Why not fix the friggin’ local schools and to hell with all of this paperwork and drama? UGGH!

2. I had my 37th birthday and after being told by a loving friend that she’s tired of me sitting on my life…(now, you all know that oldest children/over-achiever perfectionist do not take well to harsh criticism) that I’m not just blogging again, I’m releasing the mini version of a book that I’ve been writing forever and it’s called…ooops, I’m supposed to write about it in a separate post and give you all the amazon link….geesh, I ca’t keep up with all of the rules and I’ve made some changes to my internet radio show and you all will be invited to big launch.
3. I’m coaching a group of women who want to get over themselves and get to walking in purpose and destiny. Sorry fellas. I am asking for 10 pairs of women to sign up (I’ve found when you have an accountability partner, you stick to it longer-like going to the gym with someone) for an 8-week program which involves online and phone coaching, weekly teleclasses and assignments delivered by email. By the beginning of next week, you’ll be able to read all about it on our sister sites. Email me at dahgurl at dahgurl dot com if you would like more details!

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t say that while I was gone, history was being made with a woman and an African American running for President. Regardless of my politics (you guys know I will bring it in due time), I have to say Wow! It’s time for something different here. We’re more concerned about Britney-whether she’s wearing underwear or not, shaving her head, being arrested for something than we are rising gas prices, foreclosures, unemployment. (deep breath…BIG sigh…little tear). As I mentioned earlier, I had a birthday and asked what am I going to do? It’s more than just get mine and worry about the rest later. I’m going to put my voice in the ring, my thoughts on the page…I’m not turning away, giving up. I won’t be asleep because change…it has to come.

Yep. Little old first year, well beginning second year, blogger is ready to kick it into high gear. Wait, did you say that you don’t know what the blogger choice awards are? Well, not until I started seeing this badge everywhere.

I read a lot of blogs that have been nominated and I started to think…”my blog/my writing/my story is better than theirs. Why wasn’t I nominated? I mean Hottest Mommy Blogger, Best Parenting Blog…I should have a little honorable mention or something, right?

So, I instead of complainin’ or hatin’ (neither of which I do), I decided to do some research, check out what the pros are doing and put together a campaign/a strategy. My strategy is inspired by one of my favorite cartoon characters, Underdog.

Now, I may not a lot about blogging as a business, but I know a little somem somem about marketing. I got with a team of people on how we are going to do this and the first step they told me to make it plain.

1. I need everyone reading this post to take 2 minutes to vote for Dahgurl as the Best Parenting Blog and/or the Hottest Mommy Blogger. Click here , sign up (yes, you have to sign up before you can vote) and once you verify your sign up via email, then go to the main page and locate the Best Parenting Blog in the left hand navigation bar. Then just vote. It’s so simple and if you want to leave a comment, that would be great too!

2. I want you to leave me a comment and tell me what YOU would like to see more of at Dahgurl. Now, so far, I’ve heard

• more pictures (I’m going to put the Flick widget back up…still trying to find a theme that works for all of my content. Suggestions?)

• more book suggestions (same deal with my amazon links…I’ll get that together too) and
• some blog tour/blog carnivals (will be starting these in a week or so)

What else? We did the podcast (that’s what we’re doing over at TalkShoe and we would love for you all to join us EVERY Tuesday night at 9 p.m. right where you are, on the phone or on the computer) and I have been asked to take some of our chats on video over at YouTube. Would you like product reviews? News Stories? Celebrity Gossip (I think I would have to draw the line there)? Apparel?
Let me know your thoughts and ideas for bringing this underdog from obscurity to the virtual red carpet. The countdown will begin in the sidebar tomorrow along with a little reminder to sign up and vote. Let’s add a little flavor to the Blogger’s Choice Awards.

I get deep when I think about blogging because the beginning of this process was a birthing process for me. I kinda feel like dahgurl is my baby, an experimental baby that didn’t blow up, in a good and bad way. Good way is that it didn’t getting boring, challenging/discouraging/frustrating, not boring. Bad in the sense that I expected a lot more traffic, a lot more connections with people. Unfortunately, I came into this blogging thing pretty ignorant as to how it really works.

Now that I have been out here for a year, I have become more aware of what’s hot in the blogosphere. The Dahgurl team is working on some ways that we can spread the word about what is going on here. I want to thank them for putting up with me and my evenly split brained antics. Working with me is not easy, so I am blessed that God brought the right (and the best) marketing/creative/administrative team any busy blogger/writer/coach/teacher can have.

I have decided to give everyone a little bit of everything here. This is not just a parenting blog. This is not a blog about homeschooling (I am going to be writing about our summer plans and doing a series on homeschooling so that you guys can setup summer homeschooling offices…check back this weekend for more details). This is not just a women’s blog. This is a blog that encompasses all aspects of my life, but this year, I am going to serve it to you in organized, bite-sized chunks. Smaller entries/lots of series/same topic for a week and then I can move on to something else.

I know, I know.

Just keep on reading, keep on stopping by. It will definitely be popping. Thanks for being there for me.

What do you do to celebrate an incredible journey in self-discovery, self-definition and virtual nakedness?

I started with an identity crisis in March, got committed to this thing called blogging and revisited the crisis in June. The rest is her-story. Yeah, her story. I would have to say that blogging has been so rewarding for me as it gave me the audience to share my views/thoughts and it gave me a level of accountability to my writing. You all have seen the gamut here. From my crazy antics about my neglectful health habits to my tribute to my dad (whom I love so much), you guess laughed and cried with me. You were with me when I found my awesome church after years of being away from a church home, while I drowned in St. Louis. You even struggled with me as DH and I discovered the cost of our financial neglect and how we had to work hard to put it all together again. Man, you know more about me than my family. Check out some of the archives and post a comment or two.

Some of you like stats, so my goal was 365 posts, but then when I took Sundays out/took time out for the holidays, I thought 200 posts was more reasonable. I wrote 180! WOOO-WHOO! That was good, huh? Not to mention that Chanda came in and helped me out when the exposure was too much and contributed 24, so that REALLY puts us over the 200 mark. Thanks Sis!

I am so excited that I get to share with all of you what’s going on with me. I told you all that some things were changing and they are. Stay tuned to the new version of dahgurl! One year and still kicking it!

I was feeling like a bad mama, feeling like it’s just not possible to be great in every aspect of your life. I went down the path of this is too much/I need to quit/retreat/RETREAT, but in the midst of this brief, yet intense pity party, I realized how blessed I am, I realized how many options I do have like the option to go to bed yesterday at 8:30 p.m. because “my head is making my body tired.” I tried to wake up at midnight and mop the floor and do all of this other stuff, but my mind said, “It all can wait, but your rest can’t.” We all have choices. The choice to look full and complicated days in the face and challenge them with commitment to do what you have to do and not be overwhelmed or you could retreat and crawl in the bed. Yesterday, I did both. My oldest daughter is feeling a lot better after I picked her up some peppermint and eucalyptus oils (I could do a whole section on these different homeopathic remedies that are saving us during this allergy season) and I picked up the antibiotic for my youngest daughter. I made some shrimp scampi with spinach fettucini/garlic bread/broccoli and I went to bed. Ladies, for as long as you are well, take care of you emotionally, mentally and physically. Kids get sick and moms get tired. I am making a lot of progress in my business endeavors (not as much progress on the website, but it’s coming) and we’ve made some progress. Progress costs, but an unmopped floor is not that great of price to pay, don’t you think?

For those of you just tuning in, you gotta go back to the beginning, kinda. My family came to a crossroads and after supporting my husband in his career choices, he wanted me to do something that I do naturally (talk/write/teach) on a larger scale. I was so open, but I realize now that I’m not a BMW (I’m asuming they can go from 0 to 60 in a minute or so, right?). I really thought that once I got into the flow of writing daily, that was it. But then came the book proposal and my editor saying to me, “I like your life coach voice. I like your not-so-pitiful, place of authority voice.” Ok, he didn’t say not-so-pitiful, but that’s what I heard. Funny how we do that.

Anyway, the book proposal was daunting because I’m not just a writer, I’m an editor and I’m a critical, obsessive editor (I think it’s an unwritten job requirement), so instead of releasing my energy to write, I stopped writing/slowed down writing to edit my stuff before I got it to the editor. As always, I submit my work unto God because I want to be in order, in time, in season…oh, we gotta talk about seasons and God was directing me in a slightly different place. He wanted me generating income for my household as a sign of support for not just my husband, but as a sign of faith for what is to come, so I started to expand my life coaching practice. I have over 10 individual clients and I have a group that I’m coaching all on a WEEKLY basis. Are you following me?

I went from just household managing (which is a full time job, even if I weren’t homeschooling because my husband travels, we’re rebuilding ourselves financially so we have a plan for that/doctors appointments/laundry/meal planning/physical household needs…you know the deal) AND homeschooling 3 kids while baby sitting 2 (I think that’s two full time job, but we’ll say one for now and this job requires prep time/planning for field trips and I’m the president of the homeschool group…ok, this is starting to sound like 2 full time jobs) to doing all of this plus writing, plus speaking, plus coaching…UGGH. I didn’t know what to do and how to do it, but I was frontin’ like I could do it. When you put it out there like this, I know now why people think I’m using some kind of illicit drug. My head and hands hurt just sharing this, BUT God’s grace is sufficient and I’m just starting to understand why I need His grace and mercy EVERY second of every minute of every day.

You all have your challenges as moms, as wives, as women and you think you got a lot going on and you don’t want to do it, you want to quit/bail/retire. Me too. What I was trying to do is do this, all of this, all of these blessings that are coming my way, all of these responsibilities that only lead to a legacy that I’ve always desired and I’m trying to do it all in my own strength. It’s not going to happen. I have to rely on a peace, a strength, a comfort that I hadn’t needed. See I’ve sought God’s loving kindness when I was just a mom and a wife.  As your life increases, your faith has to increase and I wasn’t exercising it at the same speed of the blessings, but I’m building it up. I’m going for quality products in all that I do and meeting the quantity demands.

I hope you all think about what’s on your plate and the stress that you’re experiencing and know that you’re not alone unless you choose to be. You don’t have to take sleeping pills because you’re so wound up at the end of the day. Take 10 minutes, just 10 minutes to be. To be thankful, to be silent, to be loving of yourself and those around you. Know that grace and mercy abounds and you can get it no matter what you’ve gotten yourself into in this season. Thanks for sticking with me. My turnaround season is now. I’m bringing it on.

I love writing.I love sharing. I think people tend to forget what life is all about–it’s about living. Living is doing/being/changing/stopping/regressing/growing/hurting/feeling. I mean, how could I be an effective life coach if I was in a glass bubble not experiencing life? Once again, I don’t need to ramble to you all. Here’s the other part to my lack o’ blogging as of late. I have not reconditioned my body to get up at 5 a.m. which really does work for me. I think I’ve learned, well I’m learning, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. I am better off when I go to bed between 10 and 11 and wake up at 5 a.m. My day seems to flow. Creativity and peace are at their peak. I also have not been working out like I would have liked and I know that’s effecting me as well. I’ve taken on some projects for others that have caused me to neglect or take away from my own stuff. I know, I know…I do say No without guilt when I’m led, but I haven’t been led to drop anything, let anything go. I’ve prayed and God told me to stand still and in another instance, He told me to help someone achieve what you’ve already achieved, in particular publish a book. What I’ve been doing is transcribing tapes/lectures and it was nt easy, but it only took me about 30 minutes per CD. After I got over the irritation of it, He reminded me that if I just taped my portion of the conversation when I’m coaching and helping people develop life changing strategies that I could be writing my next book. Hmmph. It pays to take time to listen to the voice of the Lord that lives inside of you. I am going to  buy some old school audio tapes (my iPod recorder is broken) and I am going to start doing some podcasts for you all that I will publish soon.

I guess I’m telling you all that I’m finding my new voice, one that I’m comfortable with and until then I kinda have no voice, but I don’t have a sore throat either. I think about what I would tell my client if she shared with me my dilemma, I would say, “What do you really want, really really want? and what makes you feel good/your best/at the top of your game? And when those two line up, do that.” Hmmph. Writing for an audience every day has always been my thing and the idea that I got it done daily regardless of what was going on in my life–now that was powerful. So, please send your comments. let me know that you’re checking me out/pulling for me and I’m going to readjust my schedule and get myself back up and running. Thanks for the love. I’ll get my voice back soon, real soon.

My 2 year old is an incredible example of believing that you should have whatever you want when you want it. Now, I understand due process, but he doesn’t. He knows that he can’t reach the cups in the cabinet, so he pushes a chair up to the counter, climbs on the counter and get a cup. Does it matter if it’s glass or if it’s too big? Nope. He just knows that it’s a cup. Once he gets the cup, he goes to the refrigerator (I still can’t believe he is tall enough to reach the thing) and pushes the water spout (what do you call that?) and gets him some water. He walks in the living room, sits down on the couch and when he’s done, he just drops the cup and carries on his way.  I’ve learned a lot from my most independent child to date.

1. Nothing can stand in his way of getting what he wants. When he can’t reach the counter, he goes to the dishwasher. If he can’t open it (it’s sometimes not closed all of the way), then he goes and drags anyone in the house that’s bigger than him (including my oldest daughter) and takes them to the kitchen, points to the cabinet and says, “Cup, pease.”

2. He doesn’t wait to get results. Once he has a cup, he doesn’t even ask for the water. He knows his capabilities and he gets the water himself.
3. He takes pride in his achievement. His face lights up when he gets what he wants.

When I grow up, I think I want to be like him. I have spent years saying what I don’t want or what I’ll settle for until…until I can get a bigger house, until I can get the kids off to college, until I can pay off this student loan…how many untils are getting in the way of what you really want?

I read a lot (as you all know) and although I started my writing life wanting to write novels, I haven’t read a good novel in awhile. I read 4 to 5 books a week (separate from the books have to read for the kids’ schoolwork–geesh) and my latest books have been a couple of re-reads–the Aladdin Factor and the 22 Immutable Laws of Branding. Different books, different ideas, but both of them are meeting a need for me right now.

The Aladdin Factor is about asking and I want to let you know for an independent sistah like me, asking is not easy. I used to think (praise God for a renewing of your mind) that asking was either a form of neediness or a tactic used to agitate or irritate. I would forget my money at home on my job and have a headache during lunch because I didn’t ask anyone to borrow a few bucks until the next day. “They are going to think I’m a leech, a buster.” I wouldn’t ask my father to help me buy some glasses because our insurance didn’t cover the full amount (ooo, I live for the day that I’m either wearing contacts or having my eyesight strengthen because glasses are providing me with a lot of challenges lately) and I wore glasses for 2 years!! that I couldn’t really see out of. You should have seen my father’s face when I finally confessed after he badgered me for squinting all of the time. “You couldn’t have just asked. What do you think I would have done?” I kinda know where my poor programmming came from, but again, I’m new and approved. I think women who stay at home or women who are experiencing parental guilt (for whatever reason) have an extra layer of “not asking” going on. For me, I’ve gotten so good at suppressing/repressing/oppressing (just pressing) my desires that now I’m spending an incredible amount of time trying to reconnect with me.

The 22 immutable laws of branding is about what is your package, your image, your…brand. Since I’ve started this blog, many doors have opened for me in the area of writing. I love writing, but my heart is also teaching and speaking. The three go together so I have to be a business person (which I’ve been for many years off and on) and be cautious about how I handle my…my stuff, my…brand. The deal is that I love parenting and I love working with women as a life coach. I’ve had to get some help in finding out who do I want to be when I grow up.

I know I’ve posed this question before but I think it’s taken a different tone because I don’t think I was ready to accept what I REALLY want. I happened on this current life and lifestyle that I have (SAHM, homeschooling, 5 kids!) and I’m so grateful, but for someone who wrote her life plan when she was 7 and revised it at 11, being where I hadn’t planned is throwing me off. I’m really out of whack because I feel that the one place that I could let my hair down was here and now people…not yall, of course, have kinda taken it away and kinda…I don’t know branded the blog. Does that make sense?

I’m okay with change and I know that the kind of people who work well with my personality type (not Type A, but close enough that my idiosyncracies really throw people for a loop…did I tell you I had 4 different personal assistants in 90 days in my last business? Remind me to share that story one day…no I’m not Murphy Brown) are coming in my life to push me to the next level. I just gotta get back to a routine that is prepared for the next level.

This staying up til 1 or 2 and then waking up at 7 or so just doesn’t work for me. I’ll let you all know how I get my groove back. For now, forgive me because I’m real out of whack.

Anyway, enough with the rage, I owe you guys so many great stories, but I am going to make it short since it is late and my frustration caused me to procrastinate. Starting to get a little tired. Well, the babies are coming back tomorrow and I gotta be honest with you, I’m not jumping up for joy. See, I had a taste of what it is like to sit in quiet and just think.I used to do that a lot a long time ago and I realize that the ability to sit quiet/still is key to maintaining normalcy and sanity.

I will definitely do more of that quiet time/still time in 2007.

Trying to do everything (via Mountain Dew) was not a good choice and planning to do everything wasn’t that smart either. We’ve had bad car karma since the two accidents and I have been back and forth to the auto repair shop every week between our 2 used cars more than I had been in the past 1 year with our minivan. After spending close to $2000 in auto repairs over the past 6 weeks, I am trying hard to stick to the plan. No major purchases until after we buy this new house in the next 6 months. No new car. Yes, it’s inconvenient and sometimes unsafe (rear brakes went out while picking up oldest daughter from dance…luckily, highway driving was not necessary), but keep your eye on the prize. Being financially fit, mentally fit is a struggle/battle, but well worth the outcome.  Right?

I think this season of hecticness in my life is one of the reason the spam thing is bugging me. I am always being spammed. I spammed by the insurance companies who are still not completing their role in the accident chaos. I am spammed by everyone’s opinion on what we should be doing with our lives (”You should live in the suburbs/You should live near that mall by the highway/Why are you giving away all of the sheets (that I don’t like or are in bad shape) when you might need them?). Although I miss the kids tremendously, I have found some value or better yet, I got a small taste of what it will be like a few years from now when everyone in my house can take care of themselves, the house and one another. That’s what these past couple of weeks have brought me. Clarity/ Conviction and I know one thing…I am seriously knocking out clutter in ALL aspects of my life, so look out spammers, Spam I ain’t.