As you all know, I can come up with a song for most situations in my life. Some of your faves were Unwritten, Bag Lady and

Well, add these lyrics from the 80′s R & B group, Whodini.

Friends, how many of us have them? Friends? The one’s you can depend on. Let’s be friends.

I used to have an associate who would tell her kids “that if one you all go, you all go. If one of you isn’t invited, then we all stay home.” Basically, she believed that her children didn’t need friends outside of their large, close-knit family. Well, at least, that’s how she acted. I have Mommy and Child Days where I spend an entire day with each of them individually and they plan out all of the activities and they decide if they want to take a friend or not. I’ve invited this person’s daughter who is the same age as my daughter and her response is so politely, “Where one goes they all go because that’s how they build relationships with one another as a family.”

I was tired of my daughter being hurt every time that mom said no. I just stopped calling her. Am I tripping if I believe that every child deserves their own friends, their own items (within reason) and some personal privacy? My children are only 2 years apart with the exception of the older 2 which are 3 years apart, but I am clear about who’s friend belongs to whom. My oldest son goes to hang out with his friend who has a brother the same age as my younger son. My younger son wants me to invite him along so that he can hang out with his friend. Not a bad plan, but it’s not up to me. If it was a more than one child thing, my gurlfriend would have asked the 7 year old to come too. Otherwise, I don’t just bring my kids to someone else’s party without that being cleared in the beginning.

I’m accused of being too strict, but I am 12 months and 1 week older than my younger sibling and her friends were NOT my friends. I also have been getting a lot of “I don’t have any friends, Mommy” from my 4, almost 5 year old daughter. She’s been acting out/doing the baby thing (whining, tantrums and such). I am familiar with Mocha Moms and several other organizations, but I am tired and I don’t want to start anything and not be able to participate. She has a couple of girls that she hangs out with, but their moms have been busy too. I have a ton of great friends and I know that I am blessed with them, but was I worried/concerned about friends at 4 or 5?

How do you handle the “friend” situation among siblings? Am I being lazy or unfair because I don’t think they need a lot of “friends” anyway, especially since our family size is big? How did your parents handle it? Did the gender of the sibling change how the situation was handled? Looking forward to your comments.

Ok, so I get my act together. Prepare to start bringing it daily the only way dahgurl knows how and the doggone lights go out in the entire neighborhood. For hours. My gurlfriend Yolanda calls me as she’s driving around the dark:

“Shawn, you guys ok? Me and the girls just passed your house and the entire neighborhood is pitch black. You need something?”

Can I just say that I am so blessed with considerate, thoughtful, positive friends? You know it’s hard for me to receive love like this. Yup, the giver is always trippin’. Here’s my response::

“Oh, we’re fine. The kids were scared at first, but they’re sleep now. Thanks for calling. They should be back on in a few hours.”

In all honesty, I was ready to pull my hair out. My oldest daughter was in the basement and she screamed like something out of movie. My younger son and youngest daughter were watching TV and ran down the stairs crying and praying (yeah, that’s my younger son’s answer to all, remember?). My oldest son and BBB (bighead, bigcheeked baby) are in the kitchen and they spill juice everywhere. They are all jumping on me. I can’t find a single thing in this challenging collage of clutter other people call a home.

Hey, I’m not Susie Homemaker. For real, I’m not even Sometimey Sammie Homemaker. I have tons of lists, charts, ideas, plans, strategies and my life is just full with reactions instead of pro-actions. The lights go out around 9 p.m. and we couldn’t find my emergency candles (I still haven’t found them actually), the batteries are out in one of the two flashlights we could find (what kinda help are two flashlights going to provide in a house with 3 floors, 7 people and 4000 square feet, 75 percent of that footage is covered by clutter). HELLO! I felt like such a busta, you know one of those “oh, you are a SAHM and you homeschool, you must be organized” slaps in the face. I’m living life by the seat of my pants,scrounging through drawers/cabinets, stumbling over Power Rangers and Leapster games. My family? Where are they?

Check this out.

DH takes my scented candle (the second of the two candles that I found in the bathroom where I use them during my monthly celebratory bath) and takes pictures so he can add to his awesome Flickr site.

Am I the only spastic person in my house? People always tell me to slow down, breathe, relax. Well there’s nothing like a little bit of darkness to shed some light on you and all of your issues huh?

Must implement an emergency plan…item 21, 874. Check.

Articles and Info on Emergency Preparation:

• Homeland Security Site
• How to Create a Home Emergency Plan
• How to Create a Family Emergency Plan
• American Red Cross

How do you handle emergencies? Are you prepared? Are you cool, calm like DH or are you off the chain like me? Would love your comments!

I have definitely had a “Say What?” kinda day. First of all, my youngest daughter Niara wakes up, comes to me with her hands hiding behind her back. “I know you’re going to get mad Mommy.” “What did you do Niara?” “Well, the new food coloring that you bought for the science experiment…well…I….” She took two steps backward AND she started with the crocodile tears. I knew this was going to be a doozie. ” See, Mommy.” And out she came with the reddest hands I have ever seen. I wanted to scream, but instead I got my daughter’s camera and took a picture of her hands and her little pitiful face. You say where’s the picture, huh?

Well, my second Say What was when I asked my oldest daughter to download the picture for me. “Sure, mommy.” I told her that I was going to use it on my blog and I needed a copy emailed to me. Somehow she missed the instructions after downloading. Now, I’m out of town and I have no picture. This weekend is the first time I’ve been home since Christmas and I come into my parent’s office after an exhausting road trip. (Not exhausting as a trip, but anything that you attempt with five kids is just bigger and more tiring…wow language is starting to get weird to me, but you get my drift). Guess what? My mother has changed all of her rooms around, but more importantly, she has a new computer with all of the bells and whistles which includes a HUGE 21 in’ flat screen monitor. I looked at it and said, “Say What?” She explained to me that she hasn’t read the manual, hasn’t properly hooked it up for it to be fully functional and all she does mostly is play free cell and check airfare on Southwest. This computer (I’m using it now) is so much faster than my PC at home and as much I try not to be mad at my techno-novice pretending to be a geek mother, I do wish she would stop getting all of this stuff that she doesn’t know how to use and then try to get me to show her how to use it. Yeah, add tech support to my long list of duties.

Lastly, I want you to know that I am very excited about going to Cape Cod/Martha’s Vineyard this weekend. I have always wanted to go there and I am glad that my sisters, my mom and I are going. I rarely go out on vacation especially if something is going on with the kids and can you believe that after planning t go somewhere that I’ve really wanted to go, two of my children came down with something on our way to Michigan. My youngest daughter is sneezing, the baby is coughing and I’m thinking in my head, ” Say What? You can’t be serious that they are getting sick the weekend that I am going away. The baby won’t take any medicine/won’t eat any food (which is HUGE) and it sounds like he’s wheezing as in asthma. I can’t believe all that happened to me in a short span of time. I’m working on not feeling guilty about leaving the kids with my in-laws while 2 of them aren’t feeling well.

Did I mention that I have to be at the airport at 4:45 a.m. EST? Did I share with you that I haven’t slept in several days? How about the fact that I went to library to get me some novels (since I only read novels when I travel and I left them all at home? I hope that I can access the Internet while I’m away. I have to share with you all about my travels.

Thanks for letting me vent a little.

I often have moments where I reflect on how I got to be who I am. Was being from a family that had migrated from Mississippi and brought a lot of Southern ways to Detroit? Was it being from a large extended family or was it being from a socially conservative family? Is it because I started reading at 2 years old? Am I reflection of my relationship with my mother or with my father?

Many of these questions have developed as my children get older. How do I want my children to be when they grow up? What parts of me do I want to share and what parts of me do I want to keep to myself? The question for this week is if they’re is a thing called a man’s man, then what does it mean to be a woman’s woman or a lady’s lady? See what I discover while I observe my clan over at The Parenting Post today.

I love the fact that children are innocently loving and I trust my children to let me know if they don’t feel comfortable around someone for whatever reason. But what about the child who just feels comfortable and loves expressing love all of the time? How do people react to a child like that? Well, find out by reading my post this week at The Parenting Post. I can’t wait to hear what you all think.