See as many of you, I am the Go To Gal, the Make It Happen chick…I make it do it what it do, baby! And when I’ve done what I can do in my strength, my faith has always seen me through, but this time, this shattering of my confidence, came quickly and fierce. And it came from every side, but the tricky part is it’s come mostly from the inside. That’s where the stronghold lies. I put in greatness, possibilities, but I didn’t dejunk, reprogram, so when I needed solutions, answers I pulled out some junk, some deep junk. And only through intervention, professional intervention, have I had to sort out what I was taught and what I believe.

I won’t bore you with my results-oriented, conditionally loving upbringing. I’ve tried to steer away from the discussion on parents trying to live vicariously through their children, but I will turn this into a couple of parenting notes and make it more about how I parent, than about how I was parented (love my parents/don’t want to open the can/mother hasn’t made this choice easy though).

As a parent, you make choices and you want your children to learn from your mistakes, but how you convey your mistakes is so important to the overall emotional health of your children. For example, if you got involved with the “wrong” man (I put wrong in quotes for reasons I’ll explain later), then you don’t have to punish every young man who looks like him and is dating your daughter. Don’t make prejudicial statements like “Oh, he’s from that side of town. You know he knows good.” “He’s an only boy. Oh, he will never leave his mother for you.” See we, as women, are prone to wear our mistakes, our issues on our sleeves like badges. Stop it! Raise your child to think for themselves and let them think through their choices.

And

Be there for them without judgment. Man, I pray that I will NEVER tell my children…”I told you so.” “I knew I was right all along.” No matter how right you were, petty vindication or any form of public vindication just ain’t sexy, it’s not welcoming. I heard my Pastor say that people who criticize you, do it because they don’t understand you. Wow! I’m pretty un-understandable. I am not even a “kid” person per se, but I will go to bat for my children. I’ve nurtured, some may say smothered my children and to think that in just a few short weeks, their lives are going to be like something that even us as parents have never seen…2 working parent household.

WHOA!

I haven’t been doing a lot of praying as much as I have been just reflecting. Give yourself credit for what you’ve done in your life no matter how small or insignificant you think it is. We are our worse enemy. The one thing I’ve learned in this process is that I forgive others easily (for the most part  :lol: ), but I don’t forgive myself. I beat up on myself so tough, my girl Ce’ says It’s worse than those 6o’s Batman episode: BAM! SLAP! URRGGH! You guys know what I’m talking about. Please forgive yourself. You can turn it around, whatever you’re facing just by saying I wish my mistakes didn’t hurt so bad/cost me so much, but I am grateful for another day to make things better, to turn it around and the challenges only strengthen my testimony.

We were asked to encourage one another in His word (1 Thes. 3:2, 4:18) and you all came through for me. I got a call from my old friend Stephanie in Ann Arbor and she’s been listening to my show (I LOVE my show, but I have considered quitting because…I’m not going to be Dahgurl like yall know her and I don’t want to…it’s silly but this is the kinda stuff that plays in my head all of the time) and she talked about how this is my season and how she can just hear the shift to being more like the me before children/household management/homeschooling. Talked to Candace at church and she was telling me how she listens on her iPod every week while she’s at the gym. Oh and Marnita stopped me at the church picnic telling me how she’s so proud of me and loves hearing me do my thing. And then you guys…Yolanda, Michele, others of you…I just say Thank You for doing what we’re all called to do, so lastly, if you feel like you’re at the end of a short rope, encourage someone else, give them a kind word, a song, a scripture, a referral to a good massage therapist.

It can get lonely, confusing, daunting…even for the Can Do sistahs. I’ve had to learn to breathe through the panic and to write down the anxiety triggers. I know that once the major deals are closed, specifically the relocation to a better school district and the full-time employment at an above-entry level position is going to help tremendously. Life happens. Don’t let it knock you off your feet, but if it does, dust yourself off and hope you got a nice pedicure when everyone’s trying to figure out how to stand you back up and help you out (i.e. take care of you).

Us Mamas have to stay on top of our personal emotional, mental and physical health and appearance.  Thanks…I’m getting back on track/keep you posted…appreciate all of the love.

“Shawn, as you know I always get compliments on how well the Spence children behave when I take them places, but today, we did something different. We took the baby. Not only didn’t we get any compliments for the first time, we had one couple relocate and I think some people clapped when we left. The streak is now broken.”

Our little baby, the last Spence on our side, is blazing a new trail. Boyfriend is all-boy, full of life and he just doesn’t know what to do with all of that joy.

Neither does my mother.

She tries so hard not to say what’s on her mind, but she just can’t do it. See there were several reasons why we decided to let the kids visit and why they are visiting for a long period of time (I’m saying long, but it won’t be as long as it has been in the past) and one of those reasons is so that we can pack up and dedicate some time to looking for a house. We have attended workshops, looked into programs and it’s looking pretty bleak. Of course, my mom had to weigh in.

“So are you looking for a house?”

“Yes, mother. (I could tell by the tone in her voice that this conversation was going to give me a headache.)”

“And you’re still just looking in the city?”

“Yes mother. Most suburban communities are not built for 7 people in a home.”

“Well, that’s just ridiculous. You need to go somewhere so you can send this kids to school and don’t have the riff-raff hanging around your house like they do now.”

“I know how you feel about this mom, but communities with good schools have real high prices and higher taxes. We’re trying to get back on our feet, so we’re interested in something that will definitely increase in value over two years, but it won’t be our dream house.”

“I’ve seen what’s in Baltimore City and I couldn’t possibly have my family living in that mess. Your priorities are all out of whack.”

Ding. Ding. Ding. Round 1. She wins. I’m not going to let her attack me as usual right now.

“Thanks for watching the kids mom. Love you. Talk to you later.” And yes, I hung up.

Our parenting choices, life choices are always under scrutiny, always great fodder for the dinner chats. I would love to say that it doesn’t bother me, but it has taken a grave toll on me. I have to sort through the care, the constructive criticism and the negativity and the blatant attempts to break me and mold me into something that looks more like her vision for my life. Rarely, do I come back in these situations and tell her what I think, how I feel, what I know because I feel that I have to be quiet to show that I’m grateful and appreciative.

Isn’t that what we tell our children?

“Don’t complain about the asparagus…just eat it and be grateful Aunt Vicki made some for you. ” “I didn’t ask your opinion about the dress/the shoes/the class. This is what I want for you, so shut and be grateful.”

As I prepare for another exciting school year, I also dealing with the idea that DH would like me to put the kids in school as well because it would take some financial pressure off of us. I so get that, but there are so many other costs, some hidden, that no one but me seems to see.

If the charge for us as parents is to give the kids the best educational opportunities possible, then homeschooling is it for my family hands down. But I’m quietly fighting in a sinking ship…I’ve applied to be adjunct faculty at several colleges and universities…many are hiring business professors because of the evening executive education wave. I know something is going to break through for us in terms of housing and in terms of finances…just pray that I don’t snap or crumble in the process.

Ever been under a lot of pressure and felt that you would come out a better person in the end? Ever wondered why things were happening in your life and wanted to quit, cave, run in the opposite direction? Did the choices you make during this time represent fear or faith? Please share. I could use some company right now. 

I pulled myself back/realized that they are not enrolled in an executive MBA program/created some fun games like Name that Slogan and Truth or Fiction and packed for a class that was valued at $199/person easily. My daughter warned me that I was doing too much and betted that I was going to end up frustrated/disappointed/angry. I completely dismissed her comments, priding myself at being an engaging/interactive teacher, understanding of teenage issues and went into class with my expectations HIGH, real HIGH.

Well…well…well.

I don’t know how to tell you how I felt, but let me say that my daughter was rapidly compensated for her assessment. I couldn’t sleep last night because I was outdone and I don’t know what in the world…

Let’s start with an email that I sent to a youth minister at my church (whom I love) bright and early this morning.

Prior to the start of the class, Imani warned me that how I flow is not going to be received well by some of the kids and that I should not prepare all that I had prepared. I didn’t listen. Overall, it [the class] was good and I was glad to have done it, but I do have some concerns. From people talking and playing with their cell phones (which I should have taken, but was trying to get a feel for what they were used to) to people not even listening to others or involving others in their group, I don’t know how these children can expect to be successful in the larger world. They are not ready. Pastor raises the bar to the parents and we, as teachers, have to raise it even higher for the young people so that they don’t become stats.

I felt like I was in a hidden camera show because these children are not stereotypical. Many of them were educated in private schools, with two parents actively in the home, dressed sharp to the bone and they had no drive, no initiative, no respect. Out of a class of 30, I may have hired, ah, 5 or 6 of them (if you take my daughter out and my girlfriend’s daughter…maybe 3 or 4) and that would have been a stretch. More than 50% of the kids came to class with no pen or paper. Only 2 children were present at the start of the class (I gave 10 minutes grace and even that was hard for me). Several of the children were unable to enunciate and articulate their comments or the answers to my questions (If you talk without moving the sound from your throat, do you need a speech pathologist or a smack upside your head?) And to top it all off, one of the most disruptive girls in the class acted a fool while her mother was physically present in the class. No, this is not a typo. Her mother was putting together some packets and working in the back of the room, but she was not far away. I looked at her mother like she had two heads and after the little girl huffed and puffed (I checked her a little bit when she busted out laughing when we were about to pray), her mom gave her some money to go and get some McDonald’s across the street and told her that she could “treat herself.” WHAT?!

So, after I got in my car, frustrated/angry/disappointed, I thought they are children and I don’t by that “these are kids are nowadays” crap. I was chatty in school, but I knew when to shut up and show respect. Who dropped the ball? Why is this kind of foolishness acceptable?

UGGH! I started to have a similar train of thought as my mother-in-law…it’s the PARENTS. So I asked myself: Where in the hell are the hard core parents? The real parents? The parents who would have snatched that little girl, who was rolling her eyes and talking while I was talking, out of her seat and made her apologize to Ms. Shawn? Where is the parent who takes the cell phone from these spoiled children (not me being insulting…she’s the one who said “I’m spoiled. I don’t have to work. I just ask my parents for whatever I want and I get it.”) and tells them that a cell phone is not necessary for class? Ok, in all fairness, the parents weren’t in the room, but this is the dialogue I had with the youth minister and her response is simply: We’ve tried to get the parents involved, but they treat what we do as a drop-off service.

A drop-off service? Do you even know who you’re entrusting your kids to? Don’t you care enough to at least show up/introduce yourself/sit in on a class? My LAWD! Parents are setting the bar too doggone low. Parents have to stop punking out and acting like children are so doggone fragile and vulnerable. Why aren’t parents taking these classes seriously? I am not getting paid to do this even though I could have. I mean, I can’t be mad at the child when they come to a class 55 minutes late…it’s not their fault. The parents are telling them that they don’t take it seriously, that it’s not important. Or do parents go to their jobs 55 minutes late?

My reaction? The solution?

Well, first, I failed because I was too shocked to treat them like my norm and I’m also aware of the fact that we don’t have the village mentality. BUT, I am going back in to the trenches. I am requesting that the next class that I teach will be with the parents. I’m taking the gloves off. I’m bringing Mrs. Jones and Ma Turner back (I will fill you all in on who they are in part 2). Stay tuned for how I’m setting the village a flames.

What would you do if you witnessed foolishness in the class? Do you feel parents are responsible? Would you be offended if I shared with you as the parent about your rude child? Do you have the village mentality…do you care about other children like they are yours?

Anyway, Imani and I have been doing stuff we never could do with everyone else like window shop, watch “chick flicks” (and can I say that we need another category between PG-13 and rated R…some of the stuff I saw this weekend…too much for anyone between 13 and 17), make cookies/brownies and actually have them for more than a day, talk about stuff without getting interrupted. I’m excited, but I’m more excited for her. It takes a lot to be the oldest child (ooh, that reminds me that I have to review the New Birth Order Book) especially in a large family compounded by the fact that we homeschool. In other words, she doesn’t get a lot of time to kick back, be herself, learn about herself in solitude. She shares a room with her now 5 year old sister Niara who likes to hide things that don’t belong to her in strange places (like Imani’s glasses were once discovered in a shoe box behind Niara’s bed), who likes to turn every object into an art project (like Imani’s knitting yarn has been used as outfit for Niara’s teddy bear) and who isn’t very nice when she doesn’t get her way (”Imani, you are the worse sister ever.”-after Imani made her take off those black and pink argyle thick tights when it was 90 degrees outside). Like I said, it’s not easy. My friends tell me how mature yet age-appropriate she is (you know that’s important in this day and age where pre-teen daughters are telling their moms that they want to lipstick and push-up bras so that they can be sexy like Beyonce). I think she’s considerate, smart, sensible, goofy…definitely on her way to being 13, but when you hear about so many people who have teenager issues, it can rock your confidence a bit.

But yesterday, I got a much-needed confidence boost.

Imani volunteers at church as part of her Purity in Life training program. I had her work in the media ministry where she can learn how to produce commercials/promotional videos and print promotional materials. (Homeschooling Tip: Try to make the best use of YOUR time. Find activities that can serve as double duty. This is not just volunteer work, but this is also going in her portfolio and on her resume in a few years…gotta multi-task.) As I was picking her up yesterday, my pastor, who I work with often in varying ministries, says to me, “She’s following in your footsteps-hard-working, smart, good head on her shoulders. You should be proud. I see why you’re a parenting expert.”

YEAH, ME! I felt a victory dance coming on, but I restrained it. You don’t want the chuch peeples (spelled differently for emphasis) to question your sanctification ‘cuz you know how to do the tootsie roll.

A rush of emotions came at me at once. I was humbled, proud, excited, scared…all at once. I didn’t know what I was doing as a parent in the beginning, but I knew that I had to be me and I had to fight for each one of my children’s right to be who they are/who they were created to be, not who my parents, who my in-laws, who we think they should be. It may sound easy to do, but it ain’t. We want so much for our children to be…fill in the blank…well-rounded, better dressed, smarter, richer, whatever. Sometimes what we want consumes us and then suffocates the child. Saw it a lot in college. Children want to please their parents…shoot I see grown folks still trying to prove it to their family and friends.

You wonder why I said scared? Because I know you only get one chance when it comes to parenting and it’s scary to think that God trusted me to take this job…this heart-wrenching, never-resting, minimal training, no clear career path having job with crappy pay and delayed benefits FIVE times. I mean, wow! Imani has been pretty easy. I get her most of the time. We are a lot alike separate from the fact she’s pretty suburban/sheltered and I’m for sure urban/mildly exposed. But, boys? I didn’t have brothers. Then…a diva. I don’t want to elaborate on the possibility, but it is possible that my five year old is a totally different animal. She’s like the good parts of me and the bad parts that people instill in her because of the whole cute thing. You know we have to watch what we say to little girls early in life because that stuff can truly go to your head and make you bratty. I thank God I’m her mother and that I seek God strong on her behalf. She gets a lot of attention and it sometimes makes me uncomfortable. I concern myself with her safety more than any of the other kids. There is a lot of hate, jealousy, unhappiness in the world. You better know somebody, something bigger than you to call on when you need peace of mind. My youngest daughter is as much prayer warrior as she is diva. I take great confidence in what they’re becoming and I realize now that as much as I think I wasn’t prepared, maybe I was…raised by a large extended family, spent years learning/studying human behavior (casually not formally), watched familial relationships everywhere, interviewed friends about how they were parented and kept meticulous notes. I questioned for years, why me? I mean working full time with one child was a breeze for me…spending time nurturing a marriage and five children…well, it’s worth writing a book about it.

What are some of your concerns when it comes to raising children/parenting? Where are you frustrated? What areas make you proud? List your questions or comments and you can be included in my new book on parenting to be released in the Spring, 2008.

Sometimes as parents we can pinpoint a situation, an issue that may cause our children to change their outlook on life. For my oldest daughter, she had a couple of bully incidents which made her strengthen her confidence and learn to “be quiet and watch” and not assume that everyone is going to be friendly to you. My oldest son is just overall cautious, insightful and not easily influenced and I don’t expect him to change much. But with Kiserian? I just don’t know what happen. It’s like a full moon or his under arm odor (he doesn’t like baths or showers because they take too long and he doesn’t do a good job (since I often have to send him back because he left soap somewhere), so why bother?) has caused his personality to shift. He speaks up about what he doesn’t want, what he doesn’t like; he talks back to me and questions the decisions that I make; he is defiant and doesn’t want to listen to his siblings for help, for guidance, for anything. I just don’t know what to do other than yell, punish him, tell him that this is out of character and I want him to really think about his actions. He’s crying all of the time, throwing tantrums like he’s 3 year olds. Somebody, anybody, help a mama out, please!

Of course, I consulted DH, wondering if I should get him some counseling or something (hey, I am so pro-therapy for any and all…matter of fact, we need to include therapy in our universal health care plan) and DH, as always, thinks I’m overreacting. “He’s just getting older. He’s growing up, finding his way. Leave him alone and let him grow. ” So, what I heard was, “You got the problem, not him. Stop trying to hold on to his current characteristics. He’s only 7. We still don’t know who he really is. Let him find out and we just love him through it.” WHAT? I can’t take change…household dynamics are already in flux with a sorta grumpy teenager (she’s changing, you know), a bossy/tricky 4 year old girl (she’ll be 5 on Friday…I’ll tell you about her celebration then), a 9 year old who is reading everything he can get his hands on , but needs to develop some personal interaction skills and use his big brother status for good and not evil…did I mention a toddler who is throwing everything that’s not stuck to the ground?

I need stability. Lil Man was my stability. I could always count on him to bring in the love, bring in the peace. I’m praying that this phase doesn’t last long and that I can go back to something that I know…but chances of that are happening…next to impossible.

Are you experiencing some growing pains in your house? Have aliens invaded the bodies of your sweet, innocent ones and turned them into…children? How did you handle it? Did you go off the deep end like me or are hiding in a corner scared to face it? Share your story because sistah needs some help.

For weeks, I’ve had a sitter in at least once a week full day, I hired a second assistant in my office (the first one was virtual and handled the web design, higher tech stuff) and at the end of the day, I still felt like I didn’t get anything done. DH and the book. The need to buy a new house now that we’re staying in Baltimore. The talk show (which if you haven’t downloaded, you need to download right now) and the management of the household (doctor/dentist/play dates). UGGH! It’s just too much. I’m throwing in the white flag. I surrender. I need a break!

So, come Monday, I am going back into the luggage jungle and I am going to pack up four of my five kids and driving them to Michigan for the next 5 to 6 weeks. (The oldest is staying here so that she can finish her “Purity in Life” training classes. Still discussing white dress).

Yup! The babies are going North for the Summer and all I can think about is all of the stuff I have to do to get them ready for the journey. It seems like everyone is falling apart. Younger son is acting like a “middle”child/complains about not having enough responsibility and then when given responsibility, he doesn’t want to take it. My youngest daughter is having problems with going to the bathroom, so she’s wearing good nites now and she’s had trouble with urinary tract infections for awhile (I’m calling the nutritionist and seeing what’s what). The baby is throwing things and attacking the other kids, which I know my parents are soo not having. My oldest son thinks my oldest daughter is lucky because she gets to be at home/hang out with her friends.

And to top this all off, my oldest daughter has totally tripped me into going to NYC for a Fall Out Boy concert (free, part of the Today Show concert series…and I am so not feeling Katie Couric) on my youngest daughter’s birthday (July 6th), so I am going to drive to Michigan/stay 2 days/wake up at 4am on July 5th and drive back to Baltimore (by myself because DH is not coming/has too much work to do) and we plan to be on a bus to NYC on the 5th, so that we can get to Rockerfeller Plaza in time. Am I friggin nuts? I tried to let this go, but “she’s such a good girl.” My mother even checked bus fares and told me “If you said you were going to do it, then you need to do it. I understand it’s not practical, but you can make it happen for the baby’s sake.” What? Did she just throw a guilt trip on me too?

Sorry, people. There is no vacation or break in this until say…the 8th or so…I’m agitated, frustrated, making lists, wanting to scream every minute, and then they want to lose video games from the library and say stuff like, “Well mommy, we don’t know when a week is up, so it’s not our fault that the fine was $25.” In my mind, my hand was around my 9 year old’s throat while people in the library, stood around and cheered me on, chatting “Mom Rule. Kids stink.”

After I snapped out of it and looked at him CRAZY, I said, “Will (Smith) got it all wrong. Kids just don’t understand.”

Now, I was raised by two wonderful parents who worked hard at teaching us right from wrong. The challenge is that my mother wasn’t taught about sex. She just kinda came across the topic, similar to how you stumble upon an uneven section of the concrete while walking. She was sheltered, bookended by two over-protective older brothers and a truckload of old school, prudish relatives from Mississippi who all migrated to Detroit and lived within one mile of each other.

So, what do she when she has three daughters of her own? Uh…the same thing. You couldn’t say sex in our house, let alone ask any questions about stuff you heard at school. When I started my cycle at the young age of 9, my mother took me to a doctor’s office and all I remember is a movie with birds, bees, eggs and sperm, which sorta looked like little worms lost in the ocean. After the movie, they showed us pictures of a naked woman and a naked man, but they didn’t elaborate much on sex, hormones, feelings leading up to sex. Nope. I was more confused than ever and my mother never asked me a single thing about it. She thought, “Whew! I did my part. Don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

I found out more from school (and not in health class) about sex and sexuality, than I ever did from that movie. I’ll never forget when my girl friends would bring Cosmo to school (the half-naked woman on the front is not new to the 21st century) and my guy friends would brag about the info they got from “Uncle Willie” and how he let them sneak a peek at his girlie magazines. How could we have possibly been expected to have any responsible, respectable relationships when boys in groups of threes would push their easily erected bodies up against you while your back was turned and you were putting stuff in your locker?

Man, we were in a world of trouble. We had a make-out cove in the E-Wing where couples could go and get in a quickie. Hello!

So, what am I doing differently with my daughter, hell my children, because if we only talk to the girls, that’s like throwing Danielle in the hungry lion’s den dressed in a full-length coat made of raw meat?

I’m teaching sex education as soon as they start asking questions or as soon as I think they are able to understand. In my daughter’s case, I taught intro to sex and reproduction in 5th grade. Shocked? Tripping? Think it’s too early? Check this.

My daughter went to school and a little girl in her class commented on my pregnancy.

“Is that your mama?”

“Yeah.”

“She pregnant.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, my mama was pregnant, but she killed that baby.”

My daughter, shocked, unable to respond, walked away. As soon as we had some time alone,

“Mommy, this girl in my class is crazy. She lies and talks a lot. Guess what she said?”

Scared out of my mind, “What did she say?”

“She said her mama killed her baby and she was happy.”

I didn’t know how to respond, so I did the half-listening, super calm mama thing, “Oh, really honey. She didn’t know what she was talking about.” And I just dropped it.

Dang! Abortion in the 5th grade? How did the mama tell the child? So many questions…I wasn’t ready then, but I’m getting ready and instead of letting the world be the teacher, I’m taking a proactive stance.

I’m teaching abstinence until marriage and my daughter is enrolled in a series of classes on purity at church, taught to boys and girls, ages 12-18 (it was initially 14 to 19 until someone produced an area statistic that said average age of having sex for the first time is 13, down from 15, about 10 years ago). They have to take classes on sex, girlfriend/boyfriend stuff, financial management, hygiene, etiquette, entrepreneurship (I’m teaching that one), self-esteem, faith in this world and community service. At the end of the classes (I think there are a total of 11 classes), they are having a cotillion/beautillion ball where they will be escorted by their parents and awarded for their commitment and accomplishments.

How does my daughter feel about this?

She’s fine with taking the classes and is actually enjoying herself with the group of over 20 children who are involved, but she does NOT want to participate in the ball. She doesn’t want to put on a “poofy white dress” and “be in front of whole bunch of people who I don’t care about” just to say that she’s pure. “It’s stupid.”

I get her point, but I also know that it takes a village to raise a child and people are taking time out to pour into her, to plant viable seed in her life. All she has to do is dance? I had a debutante ball/didn’t want to do it and it was purely social/had nothing to do with growing your faith or preparing you for the craziness of this world and I was so not a princess (I’m still not girly like that) but the memories are still with me, the experience is one that I would never forget. I’m glad I did it now.

I trust my daughter, love her, but do I lay down the law and make her do this ball for the sake of “what she will regret later in life.” Or do I let her make the decision and have the moment missed because of teen angst or really, the short-sightedness of youth.

What would you do and why?

What do you do to celebrate an incredible journey in self-discovery, self-definition and virtual nakedness?

I started with an identity crisis in March, got committed to this thing called blogging and revisited the crisis in June. The rest is her-story. Yeah, her story. I would have to say that blogging has been so rewarding for me as it gave me the audience to share my views/thoughts and it gave me a level of accountability to my writing. You all have seen the gamut here. From my crazy antics about my neglectful health habits to my tribute to my dad (whom I love so much), you guess laughed and cried with me. You were with me when I found my awesome church after years of being away from a church home, while I drowned in St. Louis. You even struggled with me as DH and I discovered the cost of our financial neglect and how we had to work hard to put it all together again. Man, you know more about me than my family. Check out some of the archives and post a comment or two.

Some of you like stats, so my goal was 365 posts, but then when I took Sundays out/took time out for the holidays, I thought 200 posts was more reasonable. I wrote 180! WOOO-WHOO! That was good, huh? Not to mention that Chanda came in and helped me out when the exposure was too much and contributed 24, so that REALLY puts us over the 200 mark. Thanks Sis!

I am so excited that I get to share with all of you what’s going on with me. I told you all that some things were changing and they are. Stay tuned to the new version of dahgurl! One year and still kicking it!