As you all know, I have struggled with clutter for as long as I can remember. I have rallied my family at different seasons and in many cases, we get it together, but our lives are so transient that the “together” part doesn’t last long. Because we are in the midst of birthing, growing in many different areas, that I’ve had to make some tough decisions. The toughest for the past three weeks is whether or not to send my children to Michigan for the summer. Now, some of you are thinking, “Five kids. Gone for five to six weeks. Safe, loving environment. And the question is?” Well I get that, but the deal is I wanted them to get used to spending time where they live and I didn’t want to have to split them up (one family prefers the older kids and the other one is more understanding of the high energy toddler), juggle their schedules and put such a huge responsibility on our parents and extended family. The family was looking forward to it, but I was tripping.

For weeks, I’ve had a sitter in at least once a week full day, I hired a second assistant in my office (the first one was virtual and handled the web design, higher tech stuff) and at the end of the day, I still felt like I didn’t get anything done. DH and the book. The need to buy a new house now that we’re staying in Baltimore. The talk show (which if you haven’t downloaded, you need to download right now) and the management of the household (doctor/dentist/play dates). UGGH! It’s just too much. I’m throwing in the white flag. I surrender. I need a break!

So, come Monday, I am going back into the luggage jungle and I am going to pack up four of my five kids and driving them to Michigan for the next 5 to 6 weeks. (The oldest is staying here so that she can finish her “Purity in Life” training classes. Still discussing white dress).

Yup! The babies are going North for the Summer and all I can think about is all of the stuff I have to do to get them ready for the journey. It seems like everyone is falling apart. Younger son is acting like a “middle”child/complains about not having enough responsibility and then when given responsibility, he doesn’t want to take it. My youngest daughter is having problems with going to the bathroom, so she’s wearing good nites now and she’s had trouble with urinary tract infections for awhile (I’m calling the nutritionist and seeing what’s what). The baby is throwing things and attacking the other kids, which I know my parents are soo not having. My oldest son thinks my oldest daughter is lucky because she gets to be at home/hang out with her friends.

And to top this all off, my oldest daughter has totally tripped me into going to NYC for a Fall Out Boy concert (free, part of the Today Show concert series…and I am so not feeling Katie Couric) on my youngest daughter’s birthday (July 6th), so I am going to drive to Michigan/stay 2 days/wake up at 4am on July 5th and drive back to Baltimore (by myself because DH is not coming/has too much work to do) and we plan to be on a bus to NYC on the 5th, so that we can get to Rockerfeller Plaza in time. Am I friggin nuts? I tried to let this go, but “she’s such a good girl.” My mother even checked bus fares and told me “If you said you were going to do it, then you need to do it. I understand it’s not practical, but you can make it happen for the baby’s sake.” What? Did she just throw a guilt trip on me too?

Sorry, people. There is no vacation or break in this until say…the 8th or so…I’m agitated, frustrated, making lists, wanting to scream every minute, and then they want to lose video games from the library and say stuff like, “Well mommy, we don’t know when a week is up, so it’s not our fault that the fine was $25.” In my mind, my hand was around my 9 year old’s throat while people in the library, stood around and cheered me on, chatting “Mom Rule. Kids stink.”

After I snapped out of it and looked at him CRAZY, I said, “Will (Smith) got it all wrong. Kids just don’t understand.”

Parenting teens is tough work and this d*^%n white dress made parenting for me that much harder.

Now, I was raised by two wonderful parents who worked hard at teaching us right from wrong. The challenge is that my mother wasn’t taught about sex. She just kinda came across the topic, similar to how you stumble upon an uneven section of the concrete while walking. She was sheltered, bookended by two over-protective older brothers and a truckload of old school, prudish relatives from Mississippi who all migrated to Detroit and lived within one mile of each other.

So, what do she when she has three daughters of her own? Uh…the same thing. You couldn’t say sex in our house, let alone ask any questions about stuff you heard at school. When I started my cycle at the young age of 9, my mother took me to a doctor’s office and all I remember is a movie with birds, bees, eggs and sperm, which sorta looked like little worms lost in the ocean. After the movie, they showed us pictures of a naked woman and a naked man, but they didn’t elaborate much on sex, hormones, feelings leading up to sex. Nope. I was more confused than ever and my mother never asked me a single thing about it. She thought, “Whew! I did my part. Don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

I found out more from school (and not in health class) about sex and sexuality, than I ever did from that movie. I’ll never forget when my girl friends would bring Cosmo to school (the half-naked woman on the front is not new to the 21st century) and my guy friends would brag about the info they got from “Uncle Willie” and how he let them sneak a peek at his girlie magazines. How could we have possibly been expected to have any responsible, respectable relationships when boys in groups of threes would push their easily erected bodies up against you while your back was turned and you were putting stuff in your locker?

Man, we were in a world of trouble. We had a make-out cove in the E-Wing where couples could go and get in a quickie. Hello!

So, what am I doing differently with my daughter, hell my children, because if we only talk to the girls, that’s like throwing Danielle in the hungry lion’s den dressed in a full-length coat made of raw meat?

I’m teaching sex education as soon as they start asking questions or as soon as I think they are able to understand. In my daughter’s case, I taught intro to sex and reproduction in 5th grade. Shocked? Tripping? Think it’s too early? Check this. Read the rest of this entry »

To my wonderful readers, I must tell you that you are not confused. My natural birthday was April 28th and we celebrated hard with a RECORD BREAKING response to my post over at Parenting. Shortly, there after we launched the Chocolate Chats interactive podcast over at TalkShoe. We’ve had a blast, but this birthday is going to be different/bigger.

What do you do to celebrate an incredible journey in self-discovery, self-definition and virtual nakedness?

I started with an identity crisis in March, got committed to this thing called blogging and revisited the crisis in June. The rest is her-story. Yeah, her story. I would have to say that blogging has been so rewarding for me as it gave me the audience to share my views/thoughts and it gave me a level of accountability to my writing. You all have seen the gamut here. From my crazy antics about my neglectful health habits to my tribute to my dad (whom I love so much), you guess laughed and cried with me. You were with me when I found my awesome church after years of being away from a church home, while I drowned in St. Louis. You even struggled with me as DH and I discovered the cost of our financial neglect and how we had to work hard to put it all together again. Man, you know more about me than my family. Check out some of the archives and post a comment or two.

Some of you like stats, so my goal was 365 posts, but then when I took Sundays out/took time out for the holidays, I thought 200 posts was more reasonable. I wrote 180! WOOO-WHOO! That was good, huh? Not to mention that Chanda came in and helped me out when the exposure was too much and contributed 24, so that REALLY puts us over the 200 mark. Thanks Sis!

I am so excited that I get to share with all of you what’s going on with me. I told you all that some things were changing and they are. Stay tuned to the new version of dahgurl! One year and still kicking it!

Much transition is taking place in my life and I am going with the flow for once. As you all know, I love my life in all of its colors and flavors. I don’t do well with boxes, titles, limitations (you know I was one doozie of an employee, right?) So as I do kinda of a quarterly check in, I had to do some redirecting in my life. Find out what happened during this redirect when  you read my article over at The Parenting Post.

   I love the symphony. When I watch the level of intensity of the musicians, I marvel at how much commitment they’ve had to make to their craft. I also believe that music expands the mind which is why I require piano in my school at least 3 years and then they have the option to switch to another instrument. My oldest daughter is vying for the electric guitar (she read somewhere that the acoustic guitar is harder to use and shouldn’t be the first guitar…I think that’s what she said anyway. I wasn’t ready to hear about investing in another instrument right now ). Anyway, my children are natural musicians especially at the dinner table. Read all about my Mother’s Day Dinner Orchestra over at The Parenting Post today. Make sure you leave a comment because you will be surprised at the end!