DahGurl

Families Make Tough Choices This Weekend

dahgurl (Shawn) — Thu, 03 Jul 2008 20:04:39 +0000

What used to be a great time over the summer for our family has turned into…well a horrible time for families just like ours. Ever since we’ve moved out of the state of Michigan in 2000, we came home on the 4th of July holiday weekend. My husband’s late grandmother, Grandma Tootsie, celebrated her birthday and because of my husband’s imagination, our younger children thought that the fireworks were for her. When she turned 85 in 2005, my husband’s brother hosted a family cookout which brought together her 3 children, 6 grandchildren and her…whew, give me a second…12 great grandchildren and her first great-great grandchild. Man, the pictures that we have from that event are powerful. I’m glad we have those pictures, those memories because Grandma Tootsie passed away last October and this is the first time that my children aren’t heading to Michigan for the 4th of July.
Yeah, it looks like of people are going to have to change their traditional plans with gas prices reaching an all-time high so far for this year. Throughout the media, we hear about families needing to spend more time together, parents need to take vacations to relieve stress and then when there is a possibility of a nice weekend drive (we’re not going to talk about plane travel and stuff, YUCK!), parents have to consider if they can afford the gas. I am disappointed, saddened, but I have to ask myself, so what are people with families, especially large families to do to get some quality time together? Here are some of my favorites:
Backyard Water Party (parents included). Summer time should not be fun just for the children. I love the summer and I have come to appreciate water balloons, running through the sprinkler and inexpensive water slides that you can get almost anywhere.
Bike Riding. My parents always rode bikes with us and they ride their bikes with the grandchildren when they come to visit, but my husband and I haven’t taken the time to get us bikes.
Museums. The children’s museum membership is about $100 for the year. Given the weather can be too hot for the beach, the museums are a good compromise and check to see if they have a reciprocal agreement
National Parks. Locally, I am sure there are things that you haven’t seen that the kids would enjoy. Look on the state’s website and find cool things that your family can do that are within a few hour drive
Local, “fancy” hotels or Holiday Inns where kids eat and stay free. Fancy for my kids is just a pool on the premises and make a local hotel a nice retreat for a day or two.
Enjoy your summer in new and creative ways while the government figures out ways to try to stop sticking it to the people.

Habits cause mom to call it a four letter word

dahgurl (Shawn) — Wed, 04 Jun 2008 11:41:00 +0000

Of course, you’re wondering what “it?” Well, the headline is a little trick so let me explain…The idea of developing habits makes me wanna cuss! Yes, as much as I believe I’m getting better and that God is strengthening, I have some bad habits that just won’t go away. Uh, Correction. That are going to go away with a fight.
Now, if I have bad habits and everyone else in my house have different bad habits, what do you think that makes the house? Sometimes, most of the time, a hot mess. For example, we have this thing in our house that we have “house” shoes and street shoes…even though I am one of the few people here who adhere to it, but that’s what I try to get everyone to do it. See dirt is hardwood floors worse enemy and since time has not been so nice to the floors, well I try to keep as much dirt off. Also, the kids have issues with keeping pairs of shoes together, so if they take them off at the door, then they can find them in the morning. right?
Well, this system never really worked given that there are so many people in our family that you spend all day tripping over shoes if you get anywhere near the door. Crazy, huh? But we’ve been doing it for awhile. I’ve tried a shoe bin, a cubby hole and none of that works. There just isn’t any space to get it around, so I’m thinking about how to change this (and many other habits in my house). As I started thinking about the bad habits of myself and my family members, I got a bit overwhelmed and started to get frustrated.
Habits…I teach the Seven Habits and I know how crucial they are to our overall success in life. When I was running a successful home based business when I had no family nearby and small children, I developed the habit of waking up at 5 AM, so that I can think, organize my office, write down what I had to do that day, get fully dressed in nice clothes (it was part of what I did). I had to “find” time or “make” time. I realized that my old habits had to change in order for me to do what I attend to do–daily blogging, develop an internet radio brand and coach families on being wholly successful. So, I wrote down my bad habits, well the ones that are preventing from reaching my goals (I mean, I didn’t have an entire day. ) and then I had to put a new habit IN PLACE of it. The last step is so key that it is the reason why people are often not successful with dieting. You focus on what you want to take out or decrease, but you don’t always focus on what you add or increase, so when you get hungry or tired and you have no solutions and it is easier to just do what you were already doing.
Ok.
Time to get the bad habits out and the good habits in! Below is my starter list and I want YOU to share some of your (or your family’s bad habits) and what you’re going to do to change it.
1) Shoes by door. I am going to ask everyone to take them off at the door AND put them under their bed in their room.
2) Not enforcing the chore chart. I am going to be consistent with disciplinary action by writing down the infractions daily and then implementing the punishment on the weekend….when they can feel it.
3) Start to organize my paperwork and never finish. I am going to finish my file cabinet organizing and ONLY open mail at my desk. Does your mail have legs?
4) Not working out consistently. I am going to get a walking partner and commit to at least three days a week.
5) Laundry hampers being used as storage containers. YIKES! I am going to have a laundry sorting system where the hampers are dumped and then returned to their rightful place. Simple, but UGGH…a thorn in my side.
Now, remember…I got a ton of bad habits, but I’m only listing a few to get you to think about what habit is keeping you from achieving your goals, ANY goal! Can’t wait to read your list

Son teaches mom new ways to bond

dahgurl (Shawn) — Fri, 30 May 2008 19:04:01 +0000

I believe that each parent should develop a one on one repore with each of their children. Unfortunately, it is difficult (not impossible) when you have 5 children (or more) and they are close together in age. The difficulties have been more evident as I slowly come from under a rock (correction: from under a baby crib. ) and start to do more things that are independent of my children. Blogging, podcasting are among those things that the kids have a hard time understanding when they want to “be with mommy,” hence my falling off the wagon in both. The times that your kids actually WANT to be with you is precious and it’s REAL special when it comes from an unexpected child.
Like most parents, we love all of our children, but in different ways. Take for instance, my oldest son. He was MY boy when he was llittle. I took him everywhere and he didn’t make a peep. His hair was so long that I had to dress him like a lumberjack just so people would KNOW he was a boy, but then something happened. He became a toddler!
He put ALL of the T’s in Terrible Two, Tumultous Threes. I mean, we fought. He has such an amazing will, such a strong resolve for a friggin baby. I’ve shared with you the bathroom story at Target and the restaurant situation and those are the tip of the iceberg. So, when he grew out of that phase, it was challenging for us to recover, you know, be back to mommy and her big boy. I miss it and I’ve wanted it back, but I didn’t want to push it.
I’ll never forget the time that he told me that he didn’t want me to call him by his nickname anymore.
“Mommy, could you not say that anymore?”
“Why? I’ve called you that all of your life.”
“Well, I’m older now and my name is fine.” (He was friggin’ 5!)
“Ok, honey, if you say so.”
I was crushed. I came up with this goofy names and goofy rituals so that we could have our own thing-just me and them. But…things have started to change.
This young man is now 10 and just recently decided that he needs to tucked in. Yup…tucked in. He and his brother get in the bed at night and scream, “Mommy, we’re ready for tuck in.” I go in, straighten up the covers, tuck them in on both sides, fall down on them (like an amateur wrestler) and them kiss them as much as they’ll allow, then give a zerbert to boot. They LOVE it! If I’m busy, they wait for me. How cool is that?
But to tip it off this week, my oldest chose to be with ME instead of go to the library. Now, if you don’t have nerdy kids, then you don’t understand. My son told a librarian that he could LIVE there and I would just have to bring him food once a day. Now do you get why him choosing me was so HUGE? Anyway, we were all alone in the house and I asked him what did he want to do.
“Mommy, you want to play a game.”
“Sure, honey.” (Trying to curtail my excitement)
“Why don’t we play checkers?”
“Cool, but I don’t know where all of the parts are?”
“No prob. We’ll just play online.”
“Huh?”
“Yeah, just go to Yahooligans and we can play checkers.”
Not exactly what I had in mind, but you know what, I had so much fun. He was on the desktop in the basement and I was on my laptop in the living room. We were yelling…”Aww, man. I didn’t see that.” to “Ah-ha. Gotch. King Me.” After a couple of games of me beating him (he’s a good player…he gave me a run for my money), he decided he was going back to watching some stupid show on YouTube.
“Thanks honey for spending time with me.”
“Sure. Next time, I won’t let you win.”
He still is a bit much, but he’s my lil man.

Baby starts chain reaction leading to exercise

dahgurl (Shawn) — Sat, 24 May 2008 21:20:31 +0000

It wasn’t until fairly recently that I realized that some of myself, well a lot of myself, has been lost over the past years. I had engulfed my dreams in the practical and parental plans for my children. You know, the , “Well, I won’t be able to do that, but I will help my children do it,” mentality. Ever since I was a little somem, growing up in Detroit, I thought I could change the world. I know, many of us have those thoughts at, say, age 5, but for me, they lasted well into my adulthood. Now, what do you do with dreams deferred? Well, in my case (and I hope in yours), it won’t dry up and die like a raisin in the sun (If you are unfamiliar with these references might I point you to the poem, Dream Deferred by Langston Hughes and of course, the now-popular play turned television show with P. Diddy, A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry).
Wow, will the English teacher/literary elitist ever die? (I guess not.)
Anyway, I’m not trying to put things off any more, so let’s get this party started…well, that’s what I told myself and right when I was sitting down getting ready to write my next book proposal (oooh, I have to update all of my former readers about that whole book proposal process in another post), BBB, my youngest child, peed in the pot (yeah!) and kicked the little potty all over the floor in excitement. Man was that joy short-lived? I tried not to scream, but I’m not good at NOT screaming and all of that “make my dreams happen” energy went to scrubbing the carpet so that the basement wouldn’t smell like pee. Oh and after that trauma (you would think I would be over this…I know DH thinks I’m tripping over this potty training fiasco, but…another post, another post), I was so tired.
Tired.
Is that word synonymous with mother? With parent?
This tired crap has got to stop. It’s the middle of the day. I just got a little window to get my write on and here we go again, another distraction, another life moment. So what do you do?
Take a deep breath, gather up that baby and head to the dang gone gym or to the TV and get your stamina up.
My energy level has been crappy for years and I am too young to always feel tired PLUS we all have too many dreams, plans, ideas, thoughts that are laying dormant on the inside. So, I’m fighting back!
First, I’m starting with a natural total body cleanse, which I read should take at least 40 days to do it right. I didn’t find a lot of great sites that were informative/most of them were just giving the benefits of their products, but I did find some good books (if you want to join me, you can buy them from me…they are listed on my Amazon widget:
The Detox Strategy
The Fast Track One Day Detox
The Seasonal Detox Diet
The New Detox Diet
Secondly, I am getting my behind into gear and exercise. I know from the last time, I talked about this..I was supposed to trim some pounds, but I didn’t stick with it. This time, I realize that I don’t have a choice. My livelihood is at stake. The doctor told me that if I don’t exercise consistently, that I am going to experience not just physical issues, but also emotional issues (do we need to go there again?). So, I picked up some exercise DVDs and I’ll have to fill you in on which ones I’m using tomorrow.
Lastly, I am going to bed earlier, waking up at 5 AM (that’s the ultimate goal) and I am going to spend at least an hour before the kids wake up…doing ME, working on ME, developing MY dreams and writing this friggin proposal. You deserve to be the best YOU and an unfulfilled you ain’t your best.
Please share your dreams, ideas and plans that you’ve put on hold and share what your hold up has been. Tell us how you are going to get back on track or how you ARE back on track. We’d love to hear it!

Fundraiser turned into appreciation lunch

dahgurl (Shawn) — Mon, 19 May 2008 14:26:55 +0000

I so love my church and we are undergoing a three year capital campaign. As a leader in the church, you have to make sure you are plugged in…well, anywhere I go, I try to be plugged in. It has been a challenge and a thrill managing my life and my ministry duties. One of the ways that I am able to juggle the responsibilities is to have Imani connected to ministry as well. She has such a servant’s heart and she loves being involved on our youth ministry. People who know us often tell me how much they appreciate her and how mature she is. I don’t blow it off, but I know that my bar is high and I am plugged in to my family. I know her…and that makes me proud.
What did it for me today though is that a woman who I barely knows says to me, “Your daughter is one of my favorite people. I observed her at a youth function and without her knowing I was watching I saw her walk away from any girls making trouble. I see her working in ministry and she’s always so bubbly. If I could be in her world even some of the time, my life would real good.” My chest started to puff out and I said Thank You and I shared with her how I don’t buy that crap about your teenager is going to turn on you, turn their back on you or they are going to stop listening to you and only listen to their friend. Hogwash! BS!
While I was talking to this woman, I wanted to pat myself on the back. I wanted to put a PP on my chest (Proud Parent), but it wasn’t enough to think about me being a proud parent. I parent on PURPOSE. I work deliberately at giving my children the best we got, actually more than what we got and I pray that we all can kick up the intensity of our parenting so wherever you are, you can pat yourself on the back. Instead of appreciating my daughter, I took a minute to appreciate me.
What is the one thing that you do differently than your parent, your family that has had a positive (or negative effect) on your kids? Please share.

Youngest child redefines the phrase full of sh^!

dahgurl (Shawn) — Wed, 14 May 2008 04:37:07 +0000

I turned 37 on April 28th and I sat thinking about all of the good advice, comments, stories I’ve been told (or that I’ve told) about parenting, motherhood, childbirth. One of my favorites came from DahMan’s (DH) maternal grandmother and she said that Children are for the Young. I know you’ve heard it, but it didn’t impact me until I realized that at 37, I probably shouldn’t be chasing around a snotty nose 3 and 1/2 year old while he’s peeing on the floor like a friggin’ pet.
Yeah, potty training. Dayum potty training. My stats have been good over the years. The boys took longer than the girls, but they weren’t going to school without having been potty trained. But there’s always one. One child to throw off your whole rep. Here I am giving folks advice, daily advice on life, parenting, balance, wholeness and I’m about to pull my hair out strand by strand trying to potty train the last child, the last child out of 5! Has God any mercy for all that I’ve done these past 10 years?
You’re laughing. You think I’m joking. Let me tell you how doggone cute this little boy is. He’s on the pot every 30 minutes and I mean we make the experience so pleasant, so easy–toys, music, praise songs. Hell, I’ve used some of the relaxation tips for him on myself! He sits there for almost an hour. I smell that he might be doing something, so I excitedly rush to the throne only to find that he has smeared stuff on the seat from his behind, but there is nothing in the pot. So where is it coming from? You guessed it! Boyfriend is holding it in and stopped it from fully making it to the toilet. I fed him raisins, Apple Juice, had him sit on the pot for another hour and…no cigar. The pain can not be shared in words and for sake of BBB’s personal privacy, I opted not to take a photo of his packed tight tail, but rest assured, the process has been straight nasty.
Can somebody help me? Give me a tip? Share with me some of your crazy potty training stories? Because if he isn’t trained soon, I’m going to have to call the horse whisperer, the dog whisperer, the hypnotist and the massage therapist (oh, that would be for me).

Mothers discuss discipline, communication over dinner

dahgurl (Shawn) — Mon, 12 May 2008 06:26:56 +0000

Well, I gotta tell you that I was not planning to do anything special for Mother’s Day, but a good friend of ours from college invited us to D.C. to have dinner and to just hang out. After a hectic day in the nursery at church (it’s once a month and I tell you…I couldn’t do more…it is not easy dealing with your children when you’re working…BBB, bighead, bigcheeked baby, for you new readers…he was off the hook), I took a nap, but the kids were so excited to go to our friend’s house. It warms my heart that we’ve extended their sphere of safe people and safe places. You all know that I just don’t let my kids hang out anywhere, especially at “family” gatherings, but this was different.
I got up late/we rushed to DC/food was good/fellowship was great and then…we got to talking. You know how we do after the grub, we have to sit and chat a bit.
I try to avoid touchy topics in mixed company. I’m pretty passionate about my issues-education, child rearing, family, politics. I just try to listen, but they kept drawing me in.
“Your daughter is so mature and well spoken. That is so awesome.”
“Thank you!” (Oh, the proud mama moments come just when you need them)
“I just don’t know how you do it with 5 kids. I take my hat off to you.”
“Thanks. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it. I’m pretty hard on ‘em.” (Now why did I say that? I…I think I’m opening up a can)
See, I realized recently that not everyone is hard on their children. Actually, in my opinion, parents are a little soft, like pillow soft, like…punk soft. When did parents have to ask their children permission for stuff? When did children start sharing their feelings about what they don’t want to do? Ok, ok, I’m not going to tell you where the conversation led or who said what. Other than me making comments like,
“Walking out of my house looking like a trick on the street is not happening…no matter how much their exploring their femininty.”
“Who cares what other people are doing? I’m setting the friggin standards in this piece, I was chosen to carry them for 10 months, not society.”
“I don’t let my kids hang out with too many people at our house because my basic rule is if you’re hanging with mine, I’m treating yours like I do mine. If you don’t want them disciplined like I do it, keep your kids at home and we’ll meet at the park.”
Yeah, it sounds harsh to some, old-fashioned to others and you know what, I don’t care. You judge a tree by its fruit and ounce for ounce, I got good fruit.
So, to all of the mothers, young and old, who care enough about their children to show them the craziness of this world from a distance and to give them safe places to grow and flourish without getting sucked into the craziness, to the moms that are NOT being punked by their kids…Happy Mothers Day!

Barack, Britney, Birthdays: A time review

dahgurl (Shawn) — Sat, 10 May 2008 21:59:54 +0000

It’s been 5 months today that my alter ego has spoken a word to you all, well, it’s not my alter ego technically, it’s me, but I haven’t been silent for 5 months just not blogging, but I’ve been thinking about blogging a lot and as you can tell, blogging is confusing.
Not just confusing, but fun, exciting, interesting AND time-consuming, daunting or shall I dare say it, burdensome.
But you guys are the reasons I keep coming back, keep bringing what you all have called “the real take on the non so glam part of motherhood” or “a safe place for us to be real and not so damn cutesy-mommy like”…well, you all win, I’m BACK. No promises! No foolishness! Bigger than I’ve ever done it before.
But first let me thank you all for hounding me (no names, Amy, E.M., Elizabeth (smile) and letting me know that what we do to give people fun, interesting, thought provoking, relevant talk on marriage, family, parenting and just over-all real women stuff actually matters in the midst of this fluffy, nonsensical world of celebrity talk and political hoopla.
What have I been doing all of this time? I mean five months of no blogging in the blogworld is putting me on the page with the typewriter, the Atari and Black Micheal Jackson. I don’t want to dwell on the past, but I do feel like I want to catch you guys up on what’s I’ve learned and of course, what I want you all to talk about:

2. I had my 37th birthday and after being told by a loving friend that she’s tired of me sitting on my life…(now, you all know that oldest children/over-achiever perfectionist do not take well to harsh criticism) that I’m not just blogging again, I’m releasing the mini version of a book that I’ve been writing forever and it’s called…ooops, I’m supposed to write about it in a separate post and give you all the amazon link….geesh, I ca’t keep up with all of the rules and I’ve made some changes to my internet radio show and you all will be invited to big launch.
3. I’m coaching a group of women who want to get over themselves and get to walking in purpose and destiny. Sorry fellas. I am asking for 10 pairs of women to sign up (I’ve found when you have an accountability partner, you stick to it longer-like going to the gym with someone) for an 8-week program which involves online and phone coaching, weekly teleclasses and assignments delivered by email. By the beginning of next week, you’ll be able to read all about it on our sister sites. Email me at dahgurl at dahgurl dot com if you would like more details!

Lastly, I would be remiss if I didn’t say that while I was gone, history was being made with a woman and an African American running for President. Regardless of my politics (you guys know I will bring it in due time), I have to say Wow! It’s time for something different here. We’re more concerned about Britney-whether she’s wearing underwear or not, shaving her head, being arrested for something than we are rising gas prices, foreclosures, unemployment. (deep breath…BIG sigh…little tear). As I mentioned earlier, I had a birthday and asked what am I going to do? It’s more than just get mine and worry about the rest later. I’m going to put my voice in the ring, my thoughts on the page…I’m not turning away, giving up. I won’t be asleep because change…it has to come.

Mom chokes on own words, children reflect the hypocrisy

dahgurl (Shawn) — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 01:20:47 +0000

I don’t know about any of you, but as a coach and as a friend, counselor, sister…all-around “tell everybody else how to make themselves and their lives better while my life under a microscope looks like a rare flu epidemic that’s prone to choke the life out of a summo wrestler within seconds”…I’m a little challenged.

Great coach, love my clients and they me, but man, every time I give advice, I have to be tested, slammed, right in my face in my own life. I’m telling my clients that they need to make their children more responsible and more involved in the maintenance of the home and my children think Alice, Florence, and Geoffrey (if you don’t know who they are, just watch TVLand this weekend) live with them. I have slacked of the charts because I thought they had a routine. When we homeschooled, I taught whole lessons on forming good habits and maintaining your role in a home. For what? For 4 months to go by and I feel like they are going out of the world backward. But it’s not just them, my husband and I are putting much going through a lot and we are just trying to pull ourselves out of the fog. I talked to God last night and said, “Hey, I know we have to grow and be better, but do we have to have growing pains at the same time and does it have to take some dayum long?” Ok, it wasn’t completely like that, but close enough. Our children are watching us, watching our lead and we are not good examples.

My bedroom…stone cold mess. FEMA would surrender and declare it a natural disaster. I feel like I’m cleaning and putting away clothes all of the time, but they keep jumping out of the drawers and closets and landing on the floor. My daughter, who was told that if she didn’t keep her room straight (now that she’s solo at age 13), that she would get evicted…well, her room is…shall we say…a smokin’ hot mess. Now, she has broken bookcase/unable to hold her books/CDs, etc., a bedframe that is so broken that if you bounce a little, the bed is on the floor and a closet not big enough for 2 coats, a suit and a sweater holder. No, I’m not making excuses, but she does have some challenges. I read organizing books, watch all of these HGTV shows, but all I can think about now is “How quickly can put everything in a pile, short of underwear and a couple of my favorite shoes, set it a fire and get out before the house has any real damage?” The kids would be fine because I’ve had them pack their clothes in suitcases since all of their dressers are broken and are barely holding the clothes anyway.

Oh, gotta tell you all about the purity classes that my oldest daughter is taking…yes, she’s taking even more classes. I know many of you disagree or are not sure if it is necessary or if it makes sense, but at least I know that girlfriend will not be confused or ignorant and her choices would be made with complete consciousness…no naivete going on in my camp. We are preparing or better yet, I am preparing myself for her to go to high school and while I know she will do well/be alright/have what she need, my seven year old lets me know that he’s been listening. He has a girl that he likes in his class and after she communicates that she likes him too, he says…”N, I have been through the girlfriend-boyfriend thing and I got into some trouble, so let’s just be friends. It’s better that way.” Yes. That boy is something else and while I’m trying to process what’s going with him, the kindergarten teacher pulls me to the side and says, “K’s mom told me that I need to separate him and Niara because she wrote him a love note and gave him her phone number.” I tried not to laugh. She doesn’t even talk on the phone! His mother thought this was necessary at age 5. Wow, we live in an interesting world, but I went to my daughter just to get some clarification.

When I talked to her, she said, “He is my friend and he told me what to write because I couldn’t even spell best friend.”

“Do you mean boyfriend, honey?”

She said, “No. I just wrote on mine what he wrote on his letter to me.”

“Oh, he wrote you a letter.”

“Yeah, but I lost it, so I wrote him one back.”

“What did it say?”

“I like being your best friend and I love you and I put my phone number at the bottom.”

I felt silly having this conversation, but at the same time, if I’m talking about relationships with everybody else…I gotta talk about it with the baby girl too. Life…has someone found the manual on this thing yet?

Mom celebrates Independence Day in November

dahgurl (Shawn) — Mon, 19 Nov 2007 14:08:42 +0000

No, I don’t have my holidays mixed up people. Today, I am writing from my mobile office where no one in my family knows how to find me and I have wonderful surroundings, safe, quiet and most of all, no one here knows me as Mommy. Should I feel bad about the excitement that’s running through my veins? Should I lessen the grin on my face? Nah. This is the beginning of new beginnings.
I first want to thank the women in my life who are redefining what it means to be wife and mother. As much as I would say to myself, “I am not going to be like my mother and centered my whole life around my family.” Well, images are powerful and I recently looked up and guess what…I was my mother. Even though I was coaching, writing, working in ministry, I wasn’t committed to a schedule, so if something else came up, I would bail on what I had to do. Some would say that this is compromise/sacrifice and it’s all part of life, but we, as mothers, have to be careful about the examples that we are setting for our children.
Children are always watching and they take seriously what you take seriously. For example, if you tell them that they have to make up their bed EVERY morning and when you wake up, you see them watching TV and the bed isn’t made up, but you let it slide because it’s the weekend/they had a late night/the sheets have to be changed anyway. Then, they don’t believe you, they don’t take your requests seriously. Now, maybe I’m the only inconsistent flake reading this, but when you’re tired/distracted/overwhelmed, then you know what you do…you miss out on the REAL life lessons like showing your children who to build a full life.
I used to get frustrated when I would be sitting in the tub or on the phone with my door closed and the kids would pass by my husband, come and find me to ask me a question like “Can I have a cookie?” Even after I tell them only interrupt me if its an emergency, they swear its an emergency that one of them sat on the others toy and now it smells like “boo-tang.” Yeah, that’s a quote. I let it happen or I snapped at them with some remark like, “Can I get just one iota of privacy?” or “Leave me alone. I’m hiding. Go ask your dad!” Well, I understand that my attitudes about this and other related household matters have to change, so here’s my new response: 1) I’ve made some signs to put on doors where I am taking my private time and the rule is See Sign, Don’t Knock! 2) I am saying to them: You all are so blessed to have 2 parents. Don’t ignore your father. He’s part of your life too, you know.
See, we, as women, set the tone, set the atmosphere in the household and until we realize that we have to make peace in our house by being peaceful ourselves. Then, guess what, you are going to be more committed to your massage, your mobile office, your bath or whatever it takes to make your full life.
Don’t you want your children to independent of at some point? Don’t you want to empower those around you to care for themselves just in case, God forbid, something happens to you? How will they learn if they are never given the opportunity? It’s independence day yall. Not just for me, but for my loved ones too. I know it will go well…if not at first, eventually. Consistency is the key to developing any new habit, right? Leave a comment and let me know if you are due an Independence Day.